Slice of Life is sponsored every Tuesday by Stacey and Ruth from Two Writing Teachers. For the month of March we are challenging ourselves to write a Slice A Day.
When I
was in school I don’t think I thought about my teachers outside of the
classroom. I mean, I didn’t think they lived at school or anything; it just
really didn’t occur to me that they might have lives before they were my
teacher – and definitely not lives outside of teaching.
As I got
older I gradually realized that teachers were regular people – and certainly
had a life outside of the walls of their classrooms. I still assumed that they
were infallible, likely excellent students who never messed up. I tried hard to
do my best, but occasionally got in trouble. I remember always worrying that my
mistakes would make my teachers change their opinion about me.
Looking
back, I don’t know why I worried so much. My main fault as a student would be that
I didn’t work as hard as I should. I loved reading but didn’t push myself in
other subjects. Honestly, I didn’t feel as smart as the kids around me. It
seemed to take me so much longer than they did to “get” the math assignments.
It was easier not to try. But truly – I was a good kid.
Talking to a few students today I mentioned that I had gotten two detentions in middle school. I think they were surprised. I smiled, I don’t know if I ever thought my teachers got in trouble – and in some ways that might be good. We all need role models. Yet, I think we also need to know that we all are fallible. We all make mistakes, but we are not the mistakes we made, we are so much more.
Today, at
thirty-nine, I think I am a responsible, hard working, caring person. I am also
a person who…
Read
during class – every class –
And could
hide a book in a desk (or text book) perfectly.
Wrote
notes and passed them.
Daily.
An expert
folder.
Gossiped.
Said unkind things.
Things I
knew were wrong.
And regretted
almost immediately.
Received
two detentions.
Both for
chewing gum.
Both on
purpose.
Because
the boy I liked…
Had
gotten one too. (Good grief.)
Turned in
late work.
Because I
forgot.
Or
because I didn’t get it.
But
didn’t want to admit that.
Was
grounded – often.
From TV.
From
Friends.
Ordered
to get my grades up.
Too
stubborn to do that.
I am all
those things – and more.
A rule
follower,
A rule
breaker.
Someone
who is a loyal friend,
Someone
who has let people down.
A person
with a fear of heights,
A person who has bungee jumped off of a ten-story crane.
A person who has bungee jumped off of a ten-story crane.
Someone
who believes strongly in the truth.
Someone
who has lied.
All
humans are complex, and teachers are no different. I know now that those
teachers I had probably didn’t think any less of me when I screwed up. More
than likely, they just hoped I would realize my mistakes and move forward. Just
as I want my students to do.
I go to
sleep each night and say a prayer - for my family, for my friends, and for my
students. So many of them are on my mind constantly. I worry about them and
wonder how I can help. But even when they screw up, one thing stays the same. I
absolutely love them. Every single one. I think I need to make sure they know
that we all mess-up. Life isn’t defined by our mistakes, it’s what do you do next.
What do you learn? How do you move on? Those are the things that interest me.
