My brother, Ryan, and his wife, Mo, are expecting their first child this fall.
I’m so excited for them. In celebrating their news I thought about what my life
was like before children and what I had no idea I was in store for. With that
in mind, I made a list of ten realizations in regard to parenting.
10. You
will clean up poop and puke regularly from places you never thought you would.
9.
Remember when you would see people out with kids and think, My children will never behave like that.
Yep, Karma baby. I've learned my lesson.
8. You
might have great plans for cloth diapers, making your own baby food, nursing
for X amount of time, amazing play dates, etc. Some of these will work out,
some won’t. It isn’t the end of the world.
7. You
will survive on less sleep than you ever realized was possible.
6. Being
a teacher can make it easier or harder when sending your children
to school. (And often, both)
5. You
will find yourself watching shows and then realizing you chose to watch it on your own, without any children present. Big Time Rush, iCarly, the list goes on.
 |
| And, I should add, said WWE figures will become part of your decor. |
4. You
will learn about whatever your children are interested in. For example, would
you like to know who John Cena is fighting in WrestleMania? I am sorry to tell
you that I know. I could also name at least 15 wrestlers in the WWE in about a
minute.
3. You
will attend events for your children but have zero desire to actually be there.
Seeing two WWE events comes to mind here.
2. You
will find yourself becoming your parents and have phrases leave your mouth that
you know aren’t yours. I’m going to hang
you by your toes. Holy Moses. Man Alive. We’re having pickled oats, sassafras
salad, and timothy compote for dinner.
1. You
will grow to understand that quote, "Having children is like having
your heart walk around outside of your body." When your children get their
feelings hurt, it is harder than anything you’ve ever experienced. But the hard
times are worth it one million times over. Luke and Liam make me happier than I
ever dreamed and show me what I was brought here to do – to be their mom. It is
my greatest joy and so much better than I ever imagined.
