Sunday, March 11, 2012

Slice of Life Eleven - Parenting top ten

 Slice of Life is sponsored every Tuesday by Stacey and Ruth from Two Writing Teachers. For the month of March we are challenging ourself to write a Slice A Day. Here we go! 

My brother, Ryan, and his wife, Mo, are expecting their first child this fall. I’m so excited for them. In celebrating their news I thought about what my life was like before children and what I had no idea I was in store for. With that in mind, I made a list of ten realizations in regard to parenting. 

10. You will clean up poop and puke regularly from places you never thought you would.

9. Remember when you would see people out with kids and think, My children will never behave like that. Yep, Karma baby. I've learned my lesson. 

8. You might have great plans for cloth diapers, making your own baby food, nursing for X amount of time, amazing play dates, etc. Some of these will work out, some won’t. It isn’t the end of the world.

7. You will survive on less sleep than you ever realized was possible.

6. Being a teacher can make it easier or harder when sending your children to school. (And often, both)

5. You will find yourself watching shows and then realizing you chose to watch it on your own, without any children present. Big Time Rush, iCarly, the list goes on.

And, I should add, said WWE figures
will become part of your decor. 
4. You will learn about whatever your children are interested in. For example, would you like to know who John Cena is fighting in WrestleMania? I am sorry to tell you that I know. I could also name at least 15 wrestlers in the WWE in about a minute.

3. You will attend events for your children but have zero desire to actually be there. Seeing two WWE events comes to mind here.

2. You will find yourself becoming your parents and have phrases leave your mouth that you know aren’t yours. I’m going to hang you by your toes. Holy Moses. Man Alive. We’re having pickled oats, sassafras salad, and timothy compote for dinner.

1. You will grow to understand that quote, "Having children is like having your heart walk around outside of your body."  When your children get their feelings hurt, it is harder than anything you’ve ever experienced. But the hard times are worth it one million times over. Luke and Liam make me happier than I ever dreamed and show me what I was brought here to do – to be their mom. It is my greatest joy and so much better than I ever imagined. 


  1. Hmmm - Another top ten list to ponder. Thanks for another idea for my writing notebook.

  2. What a touching and funny look at parenting, Katherine! I could relate to all of your ten, but #2 made me chuckle most because my mom always said we were having 'beans on toast' for dinner, which made my sister and I belly laugh. It wasn't till I met my husband that I discovered that beans on toast is actually a legitimate dish. My mom was just as surprised as I was. And #1 - well, that one you can't know until you're a parent, but as soon as you are . . .

  3. Heh. Oh yea, baby... I've been there.

    I'd like to add that "stepping on Legos is almost worse than childbirth".

  4. As someone without children, the last item had me remembering why sometimes I long for them. Beautiful and funny. The rreoccuring WWE items had me smiling.

  5. I think this Top 10 list about being a parent covers most of the important truths. For me, the absolute hardest one is whenever my 2 girls suffered hurt caused by others since there was never anything I could do about it. And, like you, I wouldn't trade it for the world!!

  6. Oh gosh, this was a great list to make! You had me chuckle. I didn't have to do the WWE, but Barney, but yes I did go and see things I never thought I would. I sure did say things I never thought either. Carnary eye brows on toast was on the menu for dinner according to my mother and one evening when I told my children I was just shocked that it had come out of my mouth! ahhh........parenthood! Thanks for sharing!

  7. Too, too true! And I am now learning about WWE thru grandchildren. oy!

  8. This is great and so true. I would add one more. My kids are grown up and I'd add, that you never stop being their parent. When they are 30 and get a divorce it breaks your heart even more than when they were 13 and their first crush snubbed them. Well written and uh, did I say it was true? If it weren't for number 10 we'd have a lot of unhappy parents. The hardest job you'll ever love, being a parent. Thanks for sharing this. And good luck to the parents-to-be.

  9. You speak the truth and in such an entertaining way. I nodded and chuckled my way through to the end. I am thankful I did not have to endure WWE, but He-Man and She-Ra were the action figures and TV shows of the day. I'm afraid I dated myself there, some will have to google them to know what I am talking about. Fun list!

  10. Oh, you hit the nail on the head with this post. My particular favorite is number 10. I always laugh when students think they will just leave the cleaning of poop and puke to the spouse. Ha.

  11. Christy Rush-LevineMarch 11, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    I am trying to ward off some of that bad karma by being especially understanding of parents I see in public. I know from enough of my friends that kids in public and kids at home are two completely different animals.

    I love that your list spans such a variety of aspects of parenting. Your humor, sarcasm, heartfelt emotions, and just plain realism are all refreshing!

  12. You are so right Katherine, & a top ten list is priceless. My daughter has two, but she tells me she gets tickled at friends who have such funny ideas for when they have kids. It is life changing, as you wrote, but the biggest pleasure ever.

  13. Katherine - A great list - all spot on - #1 rings so true. I am enjoying your slices. Keep writing :)

  14. Kids are fun! We had dinner with a couple last night who have kids almost the same age as our kids. It was fun to talk about all the craziness of having two kids but being thankful for the kids we have at the same time.

    What keeps coming back to me over and over again is that people used to say that your life would never be the same and I just shrugged and didn't really get it. Thinking now, life is so different it's so hard to even explain. You give up so much but you gain so much at the same time. Just tell them to watch as much as they can on TV and enjoy quiet time, too!

  15. I'm so glad to have happened upon this fun top 10 list. Parenting is so hard, but yet so rewarding. Thanks for sharing your list!

  16. I so loved your words today. They brought back so many memories of my kids' early years. And, many still ring true. I never cared for NASCAR or Indy 500 - but my son's obsession has "steered" me into a deeper understanding - if not appreciation - for the sport. I was definitely NOT a dancer, yet my daughter simply loves it - hence, so must I. Motherhood was all I ever wished for - I KNEW it was my calling - and it is my eternal delight. Thank you for your post.

  17. Katherine,
    Love a top ten list! Your top ten realizations about parenthood are so true. I had to laugh when you said parents find themselves actually CHOOSING to watch children's shows. So true! My youngest is now in high school and I find that I miss a good G movie. I wait for them to come out on DVD because my family refuses to go sit through them with me. I know deep down they miss them too.

    Thanks for the smiles,

  18. Katherine, Loved your list. All true! Every. Single. One.


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