Sunday, March 11, 2012

Slice of Life Eleven - Parenting top ten

 Slice of Life is sponsored every Tuesday by Stacey and Ruth from Two Writing Teachers. For the month of March we are challenging ourself to write a Slice A Day. Here we go! 

My brother, Ryan, and his wife, Mo, are expecting their first child this fall. I’m so excited for them. In celebrating their news I thought about what my life was like before children and what I had no idea I was in store for. With that in mind, I made a list of ten realizations in regard to parenting. 

10. You will clean up poop and puke regularly from places you never thought you would.

9. Remember when you would see people out with kids and think, My children will never behave like that. Yep, Karma baby. I've learned my lesson. 

8. You might have great plans for cloth diapers, making your own baby food, nursing for X amount of time, amazing play dates, etc. Some of these will work out, some won’t. It isn’t the end of the world.

7. You will survive on less sleep than you ever realized was possible.

6. Being a teacher can make it easier or harder when sending your children to school. (And often, both)

5. You will find yourself watching shows and then realizing you chose to watch it on your own, without any children present. Big Time Rush, iCarly, the list goes on.

And, I should add, said WWE figures
will become part of your decor. 
4. You will learn about whatever your children are interested in. For example, would you like to know who John Cena is fighting in WrestleMania? I am sorry to tell you that I know. I could also name at least 15 wrestlers in the WWE in about a minute.

3. You will attend events for your children but have zero desire to actually be there. Seeing two WWE events comes to mind here.

2. You will find yourself becoming your parents and have phrases leave your mouth that you know aren’t yours. I’m going to hang you by your toes. Holy Moses. Man Alive. We’re having pickled oats, sassafras salad, and timothy compote for dinner.

1. You will grow to understand that quote, "Having children is like having your heart walk around outside of your body."  When your children get their feelings hurt, it is harder than anything you’ve ever experienced. But the hard times are worth it one million times over. Luke and Liam make me happier than I ever dreamed and show me what I was brought here to do – to be their mom. It is my greatest joy and so much better than I ever imagined.