Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Those Days...

We all have those days.
When the world is against you.
Days when it just feels that it is

Today was one.

You’d think it would be amazing.
I missed my students,
We’ve been out of school for

We’ve had six snow days since Christmas.
Snow days.
Cold days.
When will winter end?

I was ready to teach.
Lesson plans complete.
It was going to be a good day.

And it was,
Until it wasn’t.

Lessons went well.
Kids seemed to get the concepts.
Excitement over ALA Youth Media Awards.
Great discussions.
And yet…

Sometimes it is too much.

Days where you realize you have had three three-day weeks since Christmas break ended due to snow days.

Days when you stare at the calendar, unbelieving, and notice there are only 22 days until state testing.

Days when you go to look at sample tests online – just to familiarize yourself – and see this message.

So we will have a new format, new questions, yet you won’t give us any examples or help prepare. Thanks, ISBE.

Days when you do your taxes and realize you have spend over 10% of your salary on your classroom and wonder what on earth you are doing.

Days when your car won’t start, again, for the second Wednesday in a row. And you have to cancel the same appointment you had to cancel last Wednesday when the same thing happened.

Days when students don’t read over the four-day break because they are just too busy – their words – and you wonder how you are supposed to reach them.

Days when you realize that what you are fighting is bigger than you are. You are one small person in a huge pond. Overwhelmed.

Days when you read about more gun violence in schools, more mandates, more charter schools getting vouchers, more, more, more.

Those days.

Today was one.
And it is over.
And I can breathe.
And jump on the treadmill.
And walk, fast.
And maybe have a few tears escape.

There are days like today,
There isn’t much I can do about that.
But the sun will rise,
Tomorrow will be better.
And I will be ready.