Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Thanks…


There are days when that inner critic,
Drowns out my own voice.
I wake,
Trying to find my way in writing,
Trying to find my message,
My voice.

The critic speaks.
Rumbles.
Shouts.

Says that what I do isn’t different
From anyone else.
It isn’t unique,
Special,
Who am I to write about it?

On those days I go to school,
To children who haven’t read.
For five days.
Despair wells up.

Breathe.

Then I have today.
Where the inner critic was SCREAMING,
During my entire writing time for #nerdlution.

I listened.

Quit.

Went to school.

Surrounded by students who read more last night,
Than they had in five days.
Who knew I was sad,
And wanted to show me what they truly could do.

I went to school to confer with young readers.
Laugh with hysterical kids.
Read aloud amazing books.

And then the magic happened.

The quiet moments you have to look for,
Or you will miss them.

The notes slid over to me that say,
I now know I am a reader.

The email from a former student saying hello,
Asking for book recommendations.

The feeling of a fifth grader wrapping their giant arms around you,
Hugging just to say hi,
They missed you.

The moment when a student stopped me,
Listen to this beautiful language…
As she read a passage from Words with Wings  aloud.

Those moments quiet that critic.
I still don’t know what to write.
I still struggle to sit down and actually type.
I still think there are better teachers.
But I reached some today.
For this, I’m grateful.

Thanks.

 
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