One Little Word - 2019

It's that time of year again, time to make resolutions for the next one. Over the years I've found that I'm terrible at resolutions. I'm great for a few weeks, then it all goes south. As a result, many years ago I began selecting one little word that could be my focus for the year. I've had several, some more than others. Here are posts from the past few years:

2012 - Be

2013 - Be

2014 - Balance

2015 - Grace

2016 - Didn't pick one

2017 - Present

2018 - Present

This year I've thought hard about what word to pick. All of the words I've used before are still things I could work on, but today, driving to Starbucks to write, I was praying aloud in the car and a word came to me. 

brave

Whatever journey we're on in life, I think it can often feel isolating, alone. No one else is on the same journey. To keep the faith, to keep moving forward, does require bravery. It is far easier to do nothing, to stay on the safe path or the path you are already on. 

Today when I reflected aloud, I thought through what the book is that I'm trying to write. While the genre is romance, the book I'm trying to write is one filled with hope, love, empowerment, friendship, community, and possibility. I reflected on all of the times of self doubt that I've had while writing, but how I've tried to dig deep and move through that. It's been tough.

Years ago I found this quote from a speech given by Teddy Roosevelt. I've turned to it, time and time again, when my inner editor (the evil Helga), has returned; or when folks ask me why I would try to write when I could just teach.

So, to keep me moving forward, to finish this book, to find my best self in 2019, to remind me to move forward even in the face of doubt, I'm picking brave as my one little word. When I want to give up, I'm going to be brave. I'm going to remind myself that when you're in the arena you experience victory and defeat, but that's what makes this life worth living, and it's going to be ok.

How about you? Are you making any resolutions for 2019? Or are you picking a word to focus on? If so, please share. Wishing you the best in this new year. 

Winter Break Plans - Looking Ahead

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Seriously, I look forward to Christmas Break for the entire first semester at school. It isn't that I have a countdown up, or that I don't completely love my students and my job, but that I feel so insanely busy during the school year that I only truly get caught up on anything during breaks - Winter Break, Spring Break, and Summer Vacation. My goals for this break are as follows:

Reading
Holy moly, do I have some books I want to get read. My reading life has taken a drastic turn in the past eighteen months. Reading romance books has been a fascinating journey for me. Romance books are really about happy endings and hope. Quite frankly, with the state of the world right now, I think that is why I turn to this genre again and again. That being said, I have about books from a variety of genres I'd like to read over break. I'll report back and let you know how that goes. Some titles on my "to read" list include:

Puddin' by Julie Murphy
Tradition by Brendan Kiely
Harbor Me by Jacqueline Woodson
Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu
Green by Sam Graham-Felsen
Plot MD by Adrienne Bell
A Velocity of Being by Popova & Bedrick

Writing
People, I am so close. Currently my work-in-progress stands around 94,000 words. With the ending I have in my head, I'd guess I have around three chapters left. The more I write, however, the more nervous I am about what I've written. The closer it is to an actual book, the more critical I am of what I've created. I have a multitude of thoughts in my brain - what pen name to use, whether I should be creating a social media presence for said pen name and creating connections there, and how on earth to use Scrivener to its full potential. (I'm seriously in love with this writing app that I've purchased yesterday and now in the process of diving down that wormhole.) My goal for break - get a significant chunk of the ending written and write some article for Choice Literacy. Writing is my main goal this break.

Organization
I love to organize. (See my love for Scrivener above. SO COOL!) One of my favorite parts of break is going through our house, pitching items that are trash, finding items to donate, and cleaning everything out. It feels like the entire place can take a deep breath when we're done. This is also why I tend to put our Christmas decorations away on 12/26. Order returns and I feel renewed. 

New Blog Series
This might be one of the things I am most excited for in 2019. On the Voices from the Middle Podcast for NCTE I often get to interview authors and be a bit nosey about their writing process. I'm fascinated by the writing lives of others. Writing myself, and talking to other writers, has driven home the point that there is no one process for everyone. However, how often do we tell our students that they need to write in a certain manor? Every time I learn something about myself as a writer, or about other writers I've met, I share it with my students. So, I decide to reach out to other authors and illustrators, asking them to share their writing lives with the readers of this blog. (And, in turn, I will share that info with my students.) I cannot wait to begin sharing their answers with you this January. 

How about you? What are your plans over the next few weeks? What are you looking forward to in 2019? Whatever they are, I'm sending you wishes for a wonderful end of 2018 and a terrific start to 2019. 

Nerdy Book Club Nominations

The deadline for the 2018 NERDIES has been extended a few days. If you want to share what you've loved in Children's Literature this year, please head over HERE.

Remember, you don't have to fill out every box if there is an area that you haven't read enough to nominate. 

Thanks! I cannot wait to see what books win this year. 

If you're unfamiliar with The Nerdies, please read Donalyn Miller's post on The Nerdy Book Club HERE.

Mock Caldecott 2019

It's that time a year again. That's right, the ALA Youth Media Awards are right around the corner. This year they're announced at 8am Pacific on January 28th. My classes will be streaming the announcement and you can too at this LINK.

For the past eight or so years, I've done some type of book club for one of the awards in my class. Each year I've done it differently, some years focusing on multiple awards, some years only on one. This year, I'm focusing on the Caldecott and doing the book study as a lunch option. 

Margie Myers-Culver and I have joined together for many years to select a list of twenty books that could possibly win this prestigious award. The list is never easy to come by, but that just speaks to the amazing books out in our world right now. The image at the top of the post is a quick visual representation of our twenty books, the list can also be found below. There are some amazing books on it and, hopefully, some winners come January 28th.

So far my seventh grade students have had ten of these fabulous books read to them as part of our Classroom Book A Day, which I've written about before. I'll read many more when we return from break. For the students who choose to come in the room to each lunch with me, we will meet during their lunch period once the week of 1/7, once the week of 1/14, and once to Skype with Margie the week of 1/21. During our first two lunchtime meetings we will debate the merits of the books on the list and then, ultimately, vote for our favorite books. When we Skype with Margie we will share our favorites and she will share hers. 

This year we also have a special guest and I'm so excited. Our tiny town has been lucky enough to have a independent bookstore open up on our square. The owner of Hartfield Book Company, Nicole, will also come join my class in discussing the picture books. I think it's a great chance for her to meet some middle school kids and get to know more about their taste in books. 

Do you have a favorite book you're rooting for come January 28th? For the Caldecott, Newbery, Printz, or one of the many other amazing awards announced that day? If you do, please share! My students are compiling their reading lists for break and I'd be glad to share your suggestions with them.

Happy Reading! 

Our list for the 2019 Caldecott...

Let's Celebrate - 2018 in review

Ruth Ayres is an amazing author, educator, and friend. She long ago taught me the importance of celebrating the small things, that when surrounded by a lot of overwhelming stuff, finding reason to celebrate was paramount to helping you find your way. You can find her blog HERE. 

I thought of Ruth this morning as I opened my computer at Starbucks. It's December 15th. I'm overwhelmed. This fall has been a time of great change, highs and lows. I feel like every day is flying while looking back and being shocked that an event from a week ago wasn't a month ago. I'm not sure I have words to express it.

What I know to be true is that 2018 has been a year of loss. First my Uncle Bobby; then my dad's cousin Jim, who was like an uncle to us; then Chris's dad, Len. It's been a year of goodbyes. It's been a year of some small reminders that our health is important. It has been a tough one.

At the same time, Ruth's reminder to celebrate is ever-present. I know that among my lows, there are also moments to remember.

Luke and Liam both grew as runners, each in their own way, but enough to make us so proud. Luke has battled several injuries, but he still pushes himself to excel. He is his own worst critic. Liam learned that he did have so much more speed inside than he ever knew. For the past few weeks he's left the middle school and gone to the high school to run with the long distance runners there each day after school. He's loved it and is looking forward to the next four years.

Chris and I had many moments to celebrate. After being married for twenty-two years, together for twenty-five, it is hard to remember a time when we weren't together. And while this fall has been difficult, we've also had the opportunity to take the kids to see Pearl Jam and escaped to Chicago with just the two of us to see Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats. 

Kindness makes my heart grow anytime I see it. I recently told a teacher on my seventh grade team that I thought the reason our team made me happy was that we didn't dwell on the negative. We laugh, we try and help each there when we can. I also share this with my students. This fall two authors were kind to my students - one publicly, one in a more behind-the-scenes kind of way. Their kindness took my breath away and while I always loved their books, I am now a devoted fan for life. So if you need any young adult Christmas books, please think of Andrew Smith and Brendan Kiely. They are wonderful human beings. 

Small moments, when you are always on the look out for them, they are everywhere. Just this week, I've had tons of them. 
--> Chris and I visited a brewery yesterday in our area that is brewing a beer with Sierra Nevada that benefits the folks impacted by the California fires this fall. 
--> My homeroom read My Friend is Sad yesterday for our daily picture book. These big seventh graders read Piggie's part, I read the part of Gerald. One of them ran and got our stuffed animals of Elephant and Piggie to hold. My heart melted.
--> I finally redesigned this blog. Let me know what you think.
--> I'm at 93,000 words for my book and I think I've decided on a pen name to write under. After some of my students begged me to let them read what I'm writing (no way), I realized the importance of this once I'm done. 

And that's it! I hope you are well and not too crazy as we wrap up 2018. Wishing you all the best. 

Focus on the Good

I think Luke was in first grade when we started, or it could have been even earlier. Luke can tend to focus on the negative. He comes by it honestly, I have to confess. Where I am an eternal optimist, my wonderful husband would absolutely own the fact that he often sees the glass as half empty. (He would also have me point out that he's working on this.) 

At any rate, when Luke came home from school in those first few weeks of first grade and I asked him how his day went, he would begin to list all of the things that happened that were "bad." I would attempt to state that surely something good happened that day, but Luke would grasp on to the negative moments and I began to worry. And so began our tradition of "tell me three." The rule that year became this, whenever I saw Luke (and Liam, who was in preschool and pretty positive, but he was included) after school, they had to tell me three positives about their day. Once that was done, if they had a negative they wanted to share, they were welcome to do so, but the positives had to come first. 

This was not easy at the beginning. Luke would tell me that he couldn't possibly tell me three positive things, nothing positive had happened that day. I'd ask if a friend smiled at him, if he had food to eat, if his teacher was kind, etc. Gradually, it got easier. I'm a firm believer in the notion that negativity or positivity can grow when you give it attention. Luke taught me that and I've never forgotten.

In any given school year this idea is put into practice in my classroom. I can choose to focus on a kid's misbehavior in my room, or I can focus on the good stuff that is happening. Of course, there are some behaviors you cannot ignore when they happen. However, if someone isn't focusing, or turning their work in, or are talking to their neighbor, etc., I try hard not to focus on it. I look for the kids that are always doing the right thing, and there are a heck of a lot of those. I want to make sure they know that I see them. I want to pour as much light into my students, into our classroom. If I believe the class can do good things, if they know I believe it, we can accomplish a hell of a lot more than if I assume it's going to all go south any minute.

We've had more challenging students in the last few years and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I want to remind myself on a daily basis to look for the good, to be the good. Environment is critical, morale is critical - for the teachers and the students. So I'm asking you, as I look to continue this work in my class, what do you do at your schools (or have you in the past) that you feel help promote a positive and welcoming learning environment? What do you feel helps boost teacher and/or student morale? 

Thanks for sharing! 

Finding the Positive and Possible Blog Changes

It was a two-day week this week, which one might think would be a breeze. One would be wrong. All things considered, the kids were pretty amazing. And yet, here I sit at 8pm on a Tuesday night after only working for two days and I'm ready to crash. Fascinating. I wanted to share some good stuff from our classroom this week and some possible changes around here, so I figured I'd write quickly before getting back to that crashing and sleeping bit.

Kindness
In regards to my students, most blog readers know I use quick writes on a daily basis in my classroom. Often these quick writes are images, poems, or videos. Many them also serve as what I'd consider life lessons. Today's quick write was on what we put out into the world and what comes back to you. I began with this Twitter post from author Andrew Smith.

The boys in that post are my students. The year has been crazy and I hadn't gotten around to teaching them how to Tweet until Friday. It's always an option, never required, and those two asked to tweet Andrew. There was no way we could have known he was having health issues and the impact their tweet had. Thus, I shared his post and this video today for our quick write.


I want my students to realize the impact of little things in this world. They think that changing someone's day involves huge decisions, but I'm a firm believer in little actions, little bits of positive actions, can make a huge difference in this world. Now I just have to hope that my students absorb it and use this lesson for good.

Blog Changes
In sharing my blog with my seventh grade students this week, one boy pointed out that at the top it still says, "Exploring literacy and reflection in the fifth grade classroom." Well, crap. I haven't taught fifth for three years. As I pondered that, he went on. He asked how my blog would change with this fiction book I'm writing. The kids know it's a romance book for adults, not kids. (And yes, they've asked to read it. And no, I've said absolutely not.) One asked how I would share that side of my writing life with the world. The answer? I have no idea.

While I've been posting here sporadically at best, I still love to blog about my classroom. So that won't be going away. What I don't know is what this blog will look like in a few months. I'm currently around 85,000 words into my book. After doing this much writing, it will absolutely be published in some form one day. Whether that is self-published or traditional, I have no idea. I will need to write about that stuff more as I get to it, and I want to share my publishing journey, as well as my revising journey, I just haven't figured out how that will mesh here. At the bare minimum, the blog needs a bit of a facelift so the "fifth grade" line could be removed. All that will be coming, I just have to find someone that can do it. (The original creator of this design no longer does this work.) If you have any thoughts on any of these topics, please let me know.

Wishing you and your family a wonderful holiday! 

NCTE Houston and a Game Changer Giveaway

As I type this I sit in my home in Illinois where the weather has decided that fall was here long enough and winter has entered in with a flourish and a bit of snow. Having just returned from sunny California, this feels like a cruel joke. Originally I had planned on packing today and leaving tomorrow for Houston, NCTE, and a whole lot of friends. Instead after the death of my father-in-law last week, I've cancelled attending NCTE for this year and am choosing to spend time with family instead. It's the right choice, but it didn't come easily. Especially since I was going to be part of three great presentations and one breakfast. Since I can't be there, let me share a little bit about each below in the hopes that those of you attending can go check them out. 

First-Timers' Breakfast - 
Friday morning at 7am Grand Ballroom A
I LOVE that NCTE holds this breakfast each year to give the chance to first time attendees to meet with folks that are veterans of the conference and get some advice on how to make the most out of their time there. I was honored to be asked to host a table and am incredibly sad I won't be there. However, if you are a first time attendee, don't miss this breakfast Friday morning. There are amazing friends hosting each table, as well as Donalyn Miller and Ernest Morrell will be speaking. Check this out! 

My Classroom BookADay Books

C.58 Nerdy Book Club: Building Strong, Inclusive Reading Communities 
Friday  9:30am-10:45am 320 AB
Nerdy Book Club is a group I am beyond honored to be a part of and have been for many years. (FYI - if you want to write for Nerdy, please click HERE.) This year our presentation is on creating reading communities, which is a topic I'm passionate about. I was going to share the following ways I build communities in my classroom including:

• Classroom Book A Day (Jillian Heise created this community, modeled after Donalyn Miller's Book a Day on Twitter. Learn more about it on Jillian's Facebook Page HERE.) My seventh graders consistently list our daily picture book as their favorite part of Language Arts. 
• March Book Madness (nod to Tony Keefer and Scott Jones created this one. Find more about it HERE.) I have participated in this since the first year. My class gets pretty passionate about the brackets each year.
• Picture book 10 for 10 (brainchild of Cathy Mere and Mandy Robek. Find more out about this HERE.) This is an area for me more so than my students - creating a community of educators that I can learn from. 
• Global Read Aloud (Pernille Ripp's creation. Find more HERE.) Bringing the world together around a book is pretty amazing. 
• Mock Newbery and Mock Caldecott's that I've written about here before.
• And the easiest way I create a reading community in my classroom - books. Surrounding kids with books. Talking about books. Crying with them at the end of Andrew Smith's Winger. Debating the merits of the Divergent series. Having hushed conversations about how they've never seen themselves as readers, but the Bone series and the Amulet series has helped them to reshape that idea in seventh grade. Our conversations that move me to tears like this fall when we read Matt de la Pena and Loren Long's Love. A brave seventh grader saw the page with the piano that had the boy and dog under it. He spoke up, stating why that image did indeed show love, as well as the absence of love, and why he understood that. My students astound me on a regular basis.

Our reading community in our classroom makes me want to go to school each day, to talk with these amazing middle school kids, and learn from them. I am certain the roundtables in this Nerdy session will be filled with amazing ideas to enhance the communities you have.

D.30 Developing Identity, Empathy, and Community through Daily Picture Book Read Alouds

Friday 11am-12:15pm Grand Ballroom B

Oh, my heart. I was so excited for this session. Each educator will be paired with a picture book author and will share their experience with picture books and Classroom Book A Day at their tables. I had the honor of being paired with Juana Martinez-Neal and her brilliant book, Alma and How She Got Her Name. I read this book both last year in the spring and this fall, pairing it with THIS video from Hank Green. My favorite line from the video is You make you. I pair that idea with the line in the author note from the book, What is your name? What is your story? In middle school I want to empower my students that if they don't like who they've become, they can change that. They have the power over their actions. Picture books let me have these conversations on a daily basis and I'm beyond grateful to authors like Juana Martinez-Neal for writing books that contribute to that conversation. 

This is my desktop on my laptop, a inspiration board for my book.

F.04 Why Middle Matters: Writing from the Middle Level Classroom: Overcoming the Fear and the Seemingly Impossible

Friday 2pm-3:15pm 320AB

This final sessions taps into a passion of mine that I credit completely to NCTE. It was after returning from my first NCTE that I began writing publicly, starting this blog. I cannot put into words how terrified I was of hitting publish for the longest times. That led to writing for Nerdy Book Club, then several submissions into professional development books, then writing for Choice Literacy. Nonfiction writing led to dipping my toe into trying to write fiction and in April of this year I began writing a romance novel for adults. It was just supposed to be for me, to be fun, and almost 83,000 words later, it absolutely is. Becoming a writer lets me talk to my student writers on a different level. I understand their struggles so much differently. I now have a writing club at lunch on Wednesdays and any student is welcome to come in, bring something they're working on, and eat and write with me. Writing completes me and brings me peace. This roundtable was going to be a chance for anyone who is anywhere in the process of writing to ask questions. If you have any, please send them my way.

So if you are headed to NCTE in Houston, please check out some of these sessions. I know from the planning that they are going to be fabulous. If you have any questions for me, send them my way. Hugs going out to all of my NCTE friends. I'll miss you desperately this year, but can't wait for Baltimore next year. Have a great time, everyone. 

GIVEAWAY - In honor of NCTE and two folks I was looking forward to seeing - Donalyn Miller and Colby Sharp - I'd like to giveaway two copies of their new book, Game Changer. This book is so important in our profession right now. It talks about access to books and why it is critical to students. Believe me, you need this book! If you want to be entered in the drawing for a copy, please put your name and email in the Google Form below. I'm honored to have contributed to this and in awe of everything they accomplish with this beautiful book. 

Pillars

It’s been a week. Or a few weeks to be more accurate. As I have done in the past, as I advise my students to do, I’m writing my way out of a time of great upheaval. We have lost one of our pillars.

I think of my parents, of Chris’s parents, as our pillars. The foundation of our family is built upon them. When we first married, there were even more of these pillars holding us up - my grandmothers, Chris’s grandmother, my great-aunt and great-uncle, and a couple that were so ingrained into our family, you wouldn’t know we weren’t actually related. Over the years, we’ve lost most of the pillars of that first layer, my grandparents’ generation. And, last weekend, we lost the first pillar from our parents’ layer.

Chris’s dad found out this fall that he was having some health issues. They progressed far quicker than any of us ever dreamed and, early Saturday morning before heading to watch Luke run State, we got the news we were not prepared to hear.

When I’ve lost someone I’ve loved over the years I’ve often written poems or essays about them, sharing what I’ll miss, what memories I’ll hold close, but right now this is just too fresh and I can’t. I’m not sure when I will be able to.

Len was a pillar of our family and without him, we are all less sturdy than we were just a week ago. The world is a little less colorful because his humor and love of a good pun has gone. He was solid steadfast, and true. Like my own dad, he would absolutely hate anyone being maudlin or overly sentimental in his memory, so I’ll keep this short. The people we love are gone all too soon and often we are unprepared to say goodbye. I’m grateful to have known Len for so many years; grateful Chris got a chance to head to California just over a week ago to see him; grateful for his love of movies, sports, and Frank Sinatra that he passed to Chris who has, in turn, passed on to Luke and Liam.

For those of you I was going to see at NCTE, I apologize in advance, but I’ll be missing you this go around. I’ll be celebrating the great things in education from afar this year. This loss has been hard, but it has also been filled with reminders of how amazing people are - from family who we always love, to kind students and families that have left me sweet messages or more, to an author helping me out with a special gift since I can’t see them, to Southwest Airlines refunding my NCTE ticket cost, to NCTE refunding my registration, to friends understanding why I had to bow out, to...to...to.

Today more than ever, I’m filled with hope. While our foundation has cracked, the people who built that foundation for my family fill me with strength - whether they are still here or have already gone. And while it hurts like hell to lose them, I am grateful for the lessons they taught me while they were here and the lessons I will continue to absorb long after they are gone.

Godspeed, Len. You will be missed.

Juggling

Years ago, when my boys were toddlers, I remember clearly realizing I would never be caught up. I could run ragged all day long - at school and at home - and never would I be able to sit down and say I was done. There was always something.

These days with two teenage sons, it is different. They are not as reliant on me as they once were. For the most part, they can take care of their own needs. And yet, today was a day where I felt like I was juggling and always coming up short, those darn balls dropping on the floor.

There is school with kids in my classes with needs far greater than anything I know what to do with. Kids that I look at with my heart breaking, feeling that I am inadequate to help them find the right path that I know they cannot see, no matter how hard they try. 

There is the constant learning. I mean, this is my twenty-second year in education, how is it we are never done? Today I've spent no less than two hours after school trying to figure out a new app that should save me time on assessment later. I spent another hour trying to learn how to progress monitor students with a new assessment tool. My brain is a noodle and I simply hope I am ready for tomorrow.

There is the fact that my husband is out of town for just over four days. We're almost at the halfway mark and I am once again reminded of how much he does here and how hard it is to be away from someone you've known over half of your life.

There is the non-stop errands - groceries, post office, calls to the orthodontist, etc. The favor from one son to cook dinner for his varsity Cross Country team in a few days time (How much pasta does one make for eight boys? Thoughts?) and a quick text from another telling me he's ran after school and is now headed to see my parents with his friends.

And yet, there are Voxer messages from my friends, texts of a photo from the ocean from Chris, a possible answered prayer, messages of love from students, puppy cuddles, and books to read. Still more balls in the air, but I seem to be breathing a bit easier.

Happy Monday, my friends. And a reminder - I'm leading at online class for Choice Literacy on Student Research Writing. I'd love to see you there. Find out more HERE. 

Also, planning ahead to NCTE, I'll be hosting a table at the First Time Attendee Breakfast and presenting at the following times all on Friday. If you're going to be there, please let me know! 

Have a great week!

• 9:30-10:45

 

11-12:15

• 2-3:15

Online Course on Student Research Writing and an Update

First, a quick update. Apologies on the lack of blogging. I promise, it does not mean a lack of writing on my part. I'm completely submerged in the fiction romance story I've been writing. While I can't promise that it's great, it is a whole lot of fun to write. This past weekend I crossed the 77,000 word mark and I still think there is about a third of the story yet to be told. Once I finally finish, then I'll be printing it off to begin revisions. It is sad how excited that makes me.

Beyond that, I've been consumed with teaching, my boys, watching said boys run for Cross Country (middle schooler is done, high schooler is entering the end of the season), and various other things have filled up my time. Oh, and I've decided I want to learn to knit. Please feel free to send any advice in that regard my way.

However, I wanted to pop on here and let you all know about a cool thing Brenda Power over at Choice Literacy is doing. She's had a bunch of us create online courses. If you enroll in one you will be taken through a twelve day course with that instructor. You will be able to access the course for two additional months and you are given a membership to Choice Literacy and Lead Literacy for three months to access all of their videos and articles. I think it is an extremely cool idea and I'd love to have you join me or one of the other amazing courses they are offering.

To find out more about what the actual structure of the courses would be look HERE.

To see the courses currently being offered, click HERE.

I hope you are all well! I apologize for being so absent from this space. My school year is off to a terrific start with a great bunch of kids. I hope to be back soon to share what we're doing. Hope your fall is gorgeous and relaxing! 

Thinking About Motivation

It's the start of the year and I have a whole new group of students for the first time in three years. Moving from fifth to seventh grade in my district allowed the chance to reconnect for the past two school years with the majority of my former students. This year? This year has been a chance to start fresh. At the same time I cherish that feeling and despair because I'm getting to know so many readers all at once and, quite frankly, they're all over the place. This past week during my final class of the day I reflected on our time of independent reading to start the class. It's only ten minutes, but in the first ten days of the year so many of them didn't have the stamina to make it that ten minutes. On Thursday? Day eleven? The ten minutes flew. The room was silent, save for my conferences, and a few kids even groaned when I asked them to come to a stopping spot. I cheered internally. 

As we came together for the mini-lesson I pointed out what I had noticed. Wondering how honest we'd be this early in the year, I asked what had changed for them already. Hands shot up and their answers varied from: 

• I hadn't read all summer
• It was hot before
• I like this book

Finally ending on...

• You help me find good books 

And...

• It's easy to read in this room.

I groaned inwardly. See, I fear those last two responses because they make me, or the room, contingent for creating the desire to read. This happens each year - kids read an insane amount with me, but can I insure it happens when they leave me? Well, in twenty-two years, I haven't found the foolproof answer. Donalyn Miller writes about this in Reading in the Wild and through her suggestions, my kids being readers once they leave me has become more likely, but still not 100%.

I want 100%.

What I've come to realize is that I might not ever get 100%. Or maybe I'll lay the ground work, but another teacher will help that child get there. I need to be ok with that and move on. 

Internal motivation to me is so important. I work all year on reflection, goal setting, drive. I look at my students and know I need to teach them Language Arts, but I'm also constantly trying to help them become their best selves, to learn how to dig deep. Moving to middle school taught me that they are farther along their path and sometimes that scares me. 

I want to help them find the right path.

Lately I've been thinking about why kids push themselves. My boys are in Cross Country, as I may have mentioned a time or two. They've pushed through injury after injury, training in the early hours of the morning into the late hours of the evening. I think most sports are similar. What is different, however, is that when I go to their meets, the spectators are family members. That's it. There is not a student section rooting them on, the town isn't turning out to cheer for them. Family members - and not even grandparents, frequently. Mom, or Dad. Maybe a sibling or two. The kids don't get down about that, they aren't jealous of other sports. They succeed - and they are one of the most successful programs at our school - because it matters to them. The fact that most people in town have no idea what they've accomplished does not factor into their drive. They do this for themselves. 

They aren't alone. Luke recently went to a volleyball game. I asked who was in the crowd. Again, most spectators are family. Same for girls basketball, often true for track. I'd guess similar results for softball and baseball. So kids have the potential for internal motivation, right? How can we translate that into the classroom? I think about it all of the time.

Twenty-three years in and I don't have all of the answers. I think if a time ever comes that I believe I do, I should probably leave the profession because then I will have lost all reflective qualities that I know to be important. Until then, I'll keep striving for 100%. I'll keep buying books. (Sorry, Chris.) And I'll celebrate small successes like a student being on book four of Amulet in eleven days after telling me he hates reading. Small successes pave the way. 

Building Relationships at the Start of the Year

Today was day two of our school year. In two days we've organized supplies, signed up for Google Classroom, created KidBlog accounts, read two picture books, had two book talks, and learned how to do attendance and Status of the Class. That isn't what really matters, though. It's the stories.

Yesterday I told stories. I told them who I was and what I valued. I talked about what I struggle with, including anxiety. I shared this slide with them and talked about ten things they needed to know about me. Then I asked them to write their name on an index card and share with me ten things I should know about them. It was enlightening. 

I read All Are Welcome yesterday and we talked about our classroom being a safe space in the school where they should all feel at home, feel safe. I shared that The Lightning Thief is one of my favorite books and told them how Riordan came up with the story. We talked about his son's struggle to feel successful at school with ADHD and dyslexia. I saw some nods.

Today I shared I Want My Hat Back and we laughed. I book talked Skullduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy and several scribbled it on to their "to read" lists. Then I told them I wanted them to write a essay entitled Who Am I? that tells me what I need to know about them. To inspire them to tell their stories I shared that I had a video I wanted them to watch. I said it was about an actor that I have a crush on, but that my husband was ok with that. They laughed. None of them knew Jason Momoa's name, but when I said he was in Justice League, many shouted out Aquaman. I congratulated them on knowing me so well already that they could guess which actor it was.


We watched this video of Jason's that through the power of story, shares who he is with us. We let the words float over the classroom, then watched a bit again. This time we noted what we learned about Momoa from this movie. Then we jotted down what we wanted to share about ourselves. 

As they began their blogs, I walked around and helped. There were several who struggled to begin, knowing the feel they wanted, but not how to achieve it. We had reminders on some overall writing rules. Then, in my last class, I had them pause. I asked how many had writing come easy to them. A handful of kids raised their hands. Then I asked how many had an inner voice that told them that their writing was horrible. Hands tentatively shot up. I reminded them that I'm trying to write a book and I told them every day I sit to write, my inner voice tells me that my writing is no good. I shared that her name was Helga and I often tell her to go away, but she keeps returning. And then I shared the secret, that you just have to keep writing anyway.

As we wrapped up for the day, I continued walking around, rubbing shoulders, checking to see if I knew everyone's name. One of the kids came over to me to show his first paragraph and then said, "I can't wait to come back tomorrow." Kind words, sweet writers, relationship foundations being established...it is going to be a good year.

Oh, and if you're ever having a bad day, watching Jason Momoa's Canvas of My Life multiple times throughout the day can make it a great one. Sigh.

Lessons from Being a Reader and a Writer

Twenty days until I'm back at school, twenty-two until the students return. This means that my brain starts examining everything around me for lessons that can be pulled into the classroom. And honestly, it's not hard. There are lessons everywhere.

I've always said it is easy to be a reading teacher because since I was young, I've always been a person who reads. Being a reader is so woven into my identity, I cannot imagine myself without it. It is what others identify with me too. Just this morning my kitchen was filled with four high school boys - they had gone on an early morning run for Cross Country with my son and come to our house to make pancakes. As I walked in and began talking to them, one (a former student) immediately pulled out his phone and began telling me about who his new favorite author was. It happens all the time. People in town will see me and ask for book recommendations. Former students delivering pizza to our house will confess they have't read for a few weeks and apologize. Former students come up at track meets and ask for what to read next. Being a reader is who I am.

I've not always been a writer. Actually, as a kid, it is what I fantasized about. Yet, years of having papers returned with blood red ink took their toll. Grammar rules and punctuation confounded me. I gave up. It was only in starting this blog that I found my writing voice again and slowly began to share. You wonderful folks that read it have been beyond kind and helped me find my wings to try this new fiction venture I've been at for the past few months. I'm learning.

Last year on July 23rd, I placed an Amazon order for my first romance book ever - Kristen Ashley's Breathe. I quickly found out that it was the fourth in the series, so I ordered more. In doing so, I never realized I was beginning something that would change the way I read and wrote. Here are some lessons I've learned over the past year, lessons I will bring into the classroom.

In regard to reading...

A Genre Rut Isn't Bad
Since last July I've purchased and read one hundred and seventy romance books. Good Lord. How often have I reminded my students to read outside of their favorite genre in the class? Quite a few. I never require it, but I often ask if they are bored. Well, I can say for certain that I'm not. And I'm reading, a lot. Most of these books run from 300-700 pages, so that alone adds up. But then, there is the other reading I'm doing - young adult, middle grade, picture books - I've read those too, just not in the volume I used to. Reading these romance books has made me laugh out loud more than once. I've connected to other friends who love the same genre, which has been wonderful. Sticking with a favorite genre has brought my joy, and I want my students to know that too.

Rereading and Skimming Favorites Brings Comfort
I remember presenting at a conference last summer and a teacher told me one of her colleagues didn't allowed books reread to "count." I'm guessing I looked at her with horrification written all over my face. I've always reread books. I know not everyone does, but it is what makes me calm. I can pinpoint certain books for certain time periods of my life. High school and college - I likely reread Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove over fifty times. When I was pregnant with Luke and Liam it was The Mitford Series by Jan Karon. Now it's anything written by Kristen Ashley, but especially The Rock Chicks series - which I've read in its entirety four times since beginning them last summer. I've dealt with anxiety for years and rereading old favorites is like revisiting friends. When my heart is racing, I can pick up those books and I immediately calm down. Sometimes I just need to read a passage, sometimes the whole book, but it absolutely counts as reading. 

Friend Recommendations are Everything
Romance reading is a new genre for me and there is a ton out there, so recommendations are key. When I mentioned to a former student's mom last August that I had read a book by Kristen Ashley, she immediately began telling me to read Rock Chicks. My friends Cindy and Karen have given me recommendations as I leave them Voxer messages on a regular basis. Ditto to colleagues online and in real life, talking books adult to adult has become an even bigger part of my life in the past year. This is what I want for my students and I can model it in my own life. 

In regard to writing...

Finding Large Chunks of Time to Write Is Important
I started writing this fiction novel on April 1st. In the past one hundred twenty-one days, I've written 60,587 words. That seems both not enough and an unbelievable amount at the same time. What I've learned is that I can make time for writing, even when I'm busy. I've also discovered that large blocks of time work best for me because I can get into a flow and write so much more. That being said, stealing 15-30 minutes here and there if it is all I have is worth it to keep a habit going.

Write What You Know
My story takes place in a town of 10,000 people called Highland, located in Central Illinois. There is a beautiful park outside of town that the male protagonist, Max, works at. In town locations that factor into the story include: a pizza place, a brewery in an old barn, the middle school, the library, yoga, a cafe, etc. The female protagonist, Emma, works at the library and loves to read, especially romance and young adult books. Her best friend, Maggie, works as a language arts teacher at the middle school and loves Pearl Jam. My point is, if you know me in real life, you know how heavily influenced my story is on my own life. Not to the point that it is my story, it's not. But you can see elements of me in lots of it. You can see people I know, pets I have, phrases I use, favorite actors/ actresses/ bands/ songs/ etc. Inspiration is all around you, and to write, I have to use it. I need to teach my students this because they believe if the story doesn't pop in your head fully formed, they can't write it. Sometimes you just need to look around.

Keep a Notebook With You
Which brings me to this. I used to have a quote hanging in my classroom and wish it was still there because I don't remember it exactly or who said it. It was something like, writers don't lead more interesting lives, they live their lives with their eyes wide open. My life hasn't suddenly become more interesting because I write fiction, but man alive, story possibilities are everywhere. For example, I went to Meijer the other day to pick up some groceries. The store was dead and three cashiers were standing at one check-out. They were all around my age and began telling me about one of their boyfriends who didn't want them to dress in revealing clothes. The cashier had a lot to say about that and the conversation ended with all of our hands up in the air as she said, "If you've got it, flaunt it." I have no idea how it all happened, but I wrote it down.

My Inner Editor is Evil 
I call mine Helga and she's awful. She will pop up and tell me that I cannot write, that someday I really should figure out how to use commas appropriately, that no one would ever want to read this drivel, and so forth. I can't stand her. She grew from years of feedback as a kid where no one told me anything I did well as a writer, but every single thing I did wrong. To combat this for my students, I tell them about Helga. I tell them why she is in my head. And then I find something awesome about each one of their stories and talk about it. Hopefully one day Helga will go on a vacation and not come back, but I doubt it.

Sharing Your Writing is Scary
I think, before I ever began a blog, that I discounted how scary it was to share your writing. I wish I could apologize to all of my former students for that. The first person who saw my current story was Cindy. This week I sent it to Karen. To say it made me nervous would be an understatement - would they just confirm all of Helga's comments? Fortunately, they have not. It helped to ask for specific things in terms of feedback. It helped that they were ridiculously kind. This is an important note to remember in the classroom - the more that my students are invested in a piece, the more they've poured of themselves into their writing, the harder it will be to hear criticism back.

And so, my journey into reading romance books has had lasting consequences in my classroom. It has reminded me of lessons I shouldn't have forgotten, but did. And hopefully it will make me a better teacher to a new group of students in just a few weeks.