Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Starting Over

I love the new year. I think that's one of my favorite things about teaching, that I get this feeling of starting over twice a year - with each new school year and each new calendar year. And while I'm absolute rubbish on resolutions, for the past six or seven years I've picked a word to live that year by. Last year it was the word "present". I explain why in this post HERE

I struggled this year when thinking of one word to move forward with in 2018. I think that the reason I was struggling was that my word for 2017, present, was still calling to me strongly, but I'd already had that word, right? And then I read this post from my new BFF Kristen Ashley, the Kristen Ashley from my romance book obsession. Check out her post HERE

And while her post is long (but amazing), this part made me feel like she was looking right at me, or maybe right into that window into me...

1) Let go of the past.

2) Do not worry about the future. 

3) Be where your feet are. Be as present as you can be in the NOW.

To say I struggle with this would be an understatement. Most of you probably know I struggle with anxiety. It can be traced to #1 and #2 above. I still remember sobbing in the confessional at my church about five years ago, explaining to our priest how the anxiety overwhelms me. He told me that I needed to pray the Serenity prayer ten times a day until I thought of it first as the waves of anxiety came on. 
With Ashley's blog post in my mind and the Serenity prayer on my heart, I thought of my one little word again. Present was the word I had lived in 2017 and it had helped, but I wasn't where I wanted to be yet. Looking up the definition of present, I knew it was my word once again.
Because that anxiety, it isn't gone. When I have a quiet moment at bedtime and contemplate the time before Luke leaves for college, my heart begins to race. When I think back to some stupid mistake I made years ago, I can dwell. I need to embrace the present. I need to get rid of the things that stand in the way of that. I've made progress, but I still have room to grow.

So my word for 2018 is present. And while I don't have "resolutions", I am looking at Ashley's list and embracing many of the 10 Most Important Things she learned in 2017 because they are just great reminders to live your life by. I made this image of her words on Canva, maybe they will be good reminders for you too? 

Happy New Year!