Checking in with my students

Thursday night I had the opportunity to present to a group of student teachers at the University of Illinois. The topic of my presentation was a general overview of how I teach reading and writing – but I think it really ended up being more of my philosophy of teaching and spilled over into reading and writing. You can see slides from the presentation here:

http://www.slideshare.net/katsok/

At the end of the hour some of the students came up to ask me questions. One that they came back to again and again was how you build relationships with your students. I had talked about that a bit during the presentation – that without the relationships, there was no point in teaching. The kids are the single best part of our jobs. If you don’t like kids, you need to look for a different line of work.

I thought about that on the way home, when I went to bed, when I woke up, when I got to school. I strongly feel that the relationships we build with our students will help to eliminate classroom behavior issues, help students achieve more, and make our jobs enjoyable.

I began to wonder, do my students see the importance in relationships? Do they think they know me? Do I know them? I think the answer to all of these questions would be yes, but I wanted to be sure – so I asked.

My kids came in first thing on Friday, many asking how my presentation went. They knew I had one the night before and I had been nervous. I shared how it went and then told them about the discussion around relationships. I explained that it had been on my mind and I wanted to blog about it. I asked that, if they felt like it, would they fill out a quick survey for me before heading to Art class?

Every student filled one out. Overwhelmingly they indicated that yes, they do believe that having a strong relationship with a teacher helps them to do better in a class, but that more importantly, they enjoy school more. The reason given for this was that they feel like the teacher “knows and likes” me. Many indicated that they are braver in classrooms where they feel like they know the teacher and that those teachers help them do better in that class. Several indicated that when a teacher knows them, they also know how they work best and help them to succeed. 100% of my students said they thought I knew them well and that they knew me.

I think their feedback just solidified what I already knew to be true. Some even listed what they knew about me – ranging from my boys, my dog, my “tall” husband – to the fact that I have anxiety, want to write a book, my love of chocolate.

Over all of my years of teaching I have met teachers who don’t enjoy their students, who definitely want to keep the distance between themselves and the kids. I don’t get that. No, I’m not their friend. If anything, at this point I feel more like a parent. However, I love my students. I would do anything for them. I think I know them very well and now, I know, that they know me too. I stand by my words to the student teachers. Getting to know your students, developing those relationships, is the best part of the job. Without that, I don’t see the reason to be in teaching.  

Staying home

I’m a big fan of staying home. If you know me well, this doesn’t surprise you. Given the choice between: traveling, going to a museum, seeing the sights, or staying at my house – I choose my house. Of course I do leave occasionally, but the times are few and far between. There are select places I will give an immediate yes to when asked if I want to go:

·      Author events at Anderson’s Bookshop – or bookstores in general

·      Out to dinner with friends

·      Conferences for professional development

·      A pedicure

·      Daufuskie Island

So, for example, on spring break just a few weeks ago, you would have found me happily curled up in a chair or my bed reading instead of trekking anywhere with the boys. (They had the flu, but this would have been true even if they were healthy.) I just am happiest when I’m home. My ideal day looks something like this:

6 am – wake up, take Bally outside, catch up on Twitter and Facebook.

7am – write a blog post.

8 am – read.

10am – have some hot chocolate, read.

11 am – take boys to lunch.

12 pm – work out, have boys play outside.

1 pm – read

4 pm – think about dinner. Decide to order out. Check Twitter.

And so on. If I can stay in my pajamas or yoga pants for the day, I consider it a bonus. So it should come as no surprise that today was a favorite day in my classroom.

As I have mentioned before, our school has grade levels divided into teams. On my team there are two other teachers. We all teach our own class writing, then I teach all three groups reading, another teacher handles Social Studies and Science, and the third math. We switch for the afternoon, I only have my own class in the morning around the schedule for specialists.

This afternoon we had a speaker for a chunk of time, and thus we couldn’t switch. This meant we spent the majority of our day “home.” When I informed the students this at 8:10 this morning, they cheered. Inside, I did too. Add the fact that we only had one special and did not switch for RTI meant that we got to spend almost 220 minutes together today. This is huge – some days it is as short as 90 minutes. Today felt like a gift. There was no earth shattering lessons, no new insights to speak of. Just a day spent reading, writing, and talking and we spent it together. The kids celebrated and so did I.  Can’t wait to see them tomorrow. 

Thank You

Thank you

I meant to send thanks to all of you here on my blog during Slice of Life.

For commenting

Tweeting

Mentions on Facebook

Emails

Kindness tends to come in waves. And you all are beyond kind.

And then I wrote yesterday’s post. Beyond my first ever post on this blog, it was the one I was most hesitant about. I wavered over clicking the “publish” button. But I did.

I cannot adequately thank you enough for your replies. While not an earth shattering post, it was personal. It was honest. Raw. Your comments meant a lot. So my first thanks goes to all of you.

My second round of thanks goes to a different group. Throughout the Slice of Life unit in my classroom, I shared my blog posts with my students. This was something new for me. When I wrote, at least Monday-Friday, I was aware that they were going to see it. I didn’t feel censored, but aware.

Some still read my blog, even if I didn't share a post in class. On weekends, Spring Break, days off of school, they sent me notes. They read. That’s new too. But yesterday’s post, I wasn’t going to share that one with them. It felt too exposed.

And then I did.

I am beyond grateful to this group of kids I get to spend my days with. I’m not sure they know how much I needed them this year. The silly, crazy, funny, loyal group that they are. I needed them because they have restored me. Two years of grad school did a number on my morale. This year has been a blessing.

So I shared my post and they got it. Of course, since they are kind, they immediately corrected me. They informed me that I was wrong, that I am a good teacher. And I could have basked in those compliments.

But I didn’t.

I told them I knew I was a good teacher – most of the time. Then there are those days, the ones that parenting and teaching has just wrung it all out of me. The days that I cannot get everyone on the same page at home or school. The days when I wonder if I’m heard. The days I know, I know, that I could be a better teacher. I shared that and said I was ok with it. I want them to know that. See, one day they will have those days too.

So if you are in my class, and if you are reading this - even though I will not be sharing this one - thank you. You all fill my heart up. You make me want to come to school every single day. I am beyond grateful to be your teacher. 

Slice of Life - Fear

I subscribe to several channels on YouTube – largely thanks to my obsession with John Green and Vlogbrothers. I spent part of my weekend catching up with some videos I haven’t seen over the past few months. Here were two I had missed:

Charlie – I’m Scared

Michael – a video response to Charlie

A few things I thought of when I saw these videos – one, I think I’m about 10-14 years older than these two are. So some of what they are talking about, I think, gets easier as you grow older. I will freely admit that I was an insecure teen – even in my twenties. I still wouldn’t say I have a ton of confidence, but I know who I am at this point. I know what I stand for, what I am not willing to compromise on.

But the part about being scared to try new things, about having others not like your work, that fear? I know that feeling. That feeling is mine too.

I’m afraid sometimes that I’m not a good teacher.

That on days I’m too exhausted to conference.

Too tired to put in a lot of effort.

Fearing I’m a phony.

I’m afraid sometimes that I’m not a good writer.

That the dream I have 
Will never come to fruition.

The dream of writing a book

Will never happen.

And if it does,

If I manage to write a book.

Would anyone read it?
Do I have something to say?

I’m afraid that I’m not a good mom.

That I spend too much time.

Typing.

Reading.

Writing.

And not enough seeing them.

I’m afraid of my anxiety.

That it will take over.

That it will hold me back.

That I cannot defeat it.

And yet, I keep trying.

Keep writing.

Reading.
Teaching.

Loving.

Parenting.

I think Charlie, and Michael, are right.

Fear is part of life.

Maybe the answer lies.

In how much attention we give it.

Give in to fear…

Or

Keep creating.

Keep living.

Keep trying.

I choose that.

I return to the words of Maurice Sendak.

Live Your Life.

Live Your Life.
Live Your Life.

What do you think? Is fear or being scared part of the human condition? Do we all feel insecure at some point? Do you think it improves as you age? I’m not sure. I certainly hope so. 

I'm so glad that I stumbled across these videos, they sure did make me think. And that? I love that. I love thinking things through. I love reflecting - wondering - and trying to decide what I believe by writing. 

Slice of Life is sponsored every Tuesday by Stacey and Ruth from Two Writing Teachers.