Inner Editor for Sale

Yesterday I sat down with my notebook and looked at the prompt for Teachers Write. Scribbling away in my notebook, I felt ok about my writing. Shared it on Kate’s website and put my notebook aside.

Looking at my laptop screen, I sighed. After what felt like an eternity of staring at a blank page in Word, I began to type. Words flowed out, but they felt wrong. Not to be deterred, I opened another document in Word – one I’ve already worked on. Still, that voice in my head said my writing was off. Grasping at straws, I opened a third document – again one I had worked on previously. The inner editor was now speaking loudly, sharing wonderful and helpful insights with me like:

This writing is horrible.

Do you really think you can write, much less a book?

What is the “so what” here? You don’t have one.

Everyone knows this stuff already. You have nothing to contribute.

I kept at it, turning on music, attempting to tune her out. After writing about a thousand words through the three different documents, I closed them for the day. Frustrated, I took to Twitter and tweeted this:

Logically, I know that I am not the only one to struggle with the inner editor. I heard so many people I admire at All Write – Ruth, Donalyn, Penny, Chris, Terry, Jeff, and more say the same thing. I loved learning that Terry often stops writing to go look in the fridge. Donalyn calls this #prewriting. I loved knowing that theses people – who write beautiful and important books – struggle with the same internal conflict that I do. That being said – how do I get rid of this voice?

Linda Urban on Twitter shared that Cynthia Lord sends hers on a vacation to the beach complete with margaritas. (I think I should just drink the margarita myself – that could make my writing more interesting!) Donalyn said that was too nice, I should just send the inner editor out to weed. Hmm, my flowerbeds are looking a bit neglected. Over and over I heard from friends on Twitter and knew more than ever that I wasn’t alone.

It was that realization that made me stop and pause. Isn’t this why I started writing to begin with? Because if I feel this way, I know with absolute certainty that my students are as well. I suppose I can’t tell my students to have their inner editor go drink a margarita, but I can share how I felt this day in June. (And surely will again.) By talking about our inner editors in class my students can realize that we all feel this way, it isn’t a reason not to write – or worse, stop writing.

Yesterday was a reminder to be kinder to myself. I can see my own growth in my writing since starting this blog. I know with certainty when I look back three years from now, my writing will have continued to improve. This is where I am; this is the message I need to share. I need to go do it. The inner editor will just have to play nice or she’s out of here. 

Slice of Life - Fresh Eyes

I remember becoming a parent. After the exhaustion of the first year or so, the questions began to flow:

Why is the sky blue?

What is that?

Why do you have to pull those plants out of the ground, but not those?

Who made the first chair?

Rather than be irritated by the endless stream of questions, they fascinated me. Ordinary events were new. The marvel that is our world surrounded me. These questions changed me. I began to appreciate more, slow down, and realized how much I love a beautiful sunset.

You don’t have to be a toddler to open the eyes of others. When we moved to our tiny hamlet years ago, my husband delighted in seeing Cardinals. He’d point them out, especially during winter when the male’s red feathers stood in stark contrast with the white snow. I asked him why he was so fascinated – apparently even though they are our state bird, Cardinals are not plentiful in the busy city of Chicago.

These thoughts were swirling around in my mind during today’s run. As I plodded down the sidewalk, bunnies raced off, afraid of the woman puffing along beside them. I had seen a few bunnies hop out of the way of my car when driving a friend to my house the other night. “Bunnies!” she said glancing out the window. I’m guessing that they aren’t as prevalent in Texas as they are in Illinois. My dog, Bally, could give her an entire lesson on where you find the nest of the bunnies in the spring.

Running past the rabbits, I reflected back on All Write. I love conferences. Friends think I am crazy to spend so much of my own money to attend these, but I know it is critical to my well being to go. Not only do I get the chance to see friends who live so far from my town, but I leave with fresh eyes. I am rejuvenated and ready to teach – or will be in a few weeks. All Write did not disappoint. I have many notes scribbled away on snatches of paper and wanted to share a few.

Here are just a few snippets of the wonderful insights I walked away from All Write with. Some are quotes; some are just what I realized while sitting and listening. Thanks to all of the amazing presenters. My eyes are open once again.

Creative, innovative, successful people spend ten thousand hours developing a skill. (Gladwell) Have writing territories (Murray) that we return to again and again helps us become experts in that area. We need to encourage more creativity and initiative amongst our students. Writing Workshop can do that. – Carl Anderson

The idea that I work my tail off helping students to develop their reading lives, I need to do the same for their writing lives. Starting my notebook up again today.  – Penny Kittle

The difference between relevant and related instruction. I think I mess this up often. Also, the realization that I need to do more with word study. – Terry Thompson

A reminder that in writing – as is true in life – the importance lies in the journey, not the destination. – Ruth Ayers

The importance of listening to my students, really listening, when I confer. Also, the idea of video taping myself for reflection. – Penny Kittle

The crazy notion that research can be fun. (!!) Ideas as to how to help my students summarize and not plagiarize. – Chris Lehman.

The importance of the work done by those who came before – listening to Penny talk about the amazing Don Graves and being in awe of all that he accomplished. – Penny Kittle

Thinking through the current state of education and reminding myself that I need to be aware of what is going on in relation to CCSS, Pearson, and more – even when (or maybe especially when) I don’t agree with it. – Chris Lehman

Being inspired and in awe of Lester’s way with words and storytelling capabilities. Realizing ideas take time – seeds for stories are everywhere. “Chasing ideas is not about getting published, it’s about finding what resonates in your soul.” – Lester Laminack. 

Slice of Life is sponsored every Tuesday by Stacey and Ruth from Two Writing Teachers

Reflections from All Write - Mentors

Last week I attended the All Write conference in Warsaw, Indiana. This was my third year in a row that I had the chance to attend – and it was as wonderful as ever. Over the course of two days I attended ten sessions, each one teaching me something new. Tomorrow I hope to write up a blog post highlighting just a bit of the learning I walked away from this conference with. Today, however, I wanted to share some ideas from the Thursday night dinner.

Each year at All Write they invite an author to speak at a dinner on the first night of the conference. Two years ago we listened to Gordon Korman. Last year we were honored with Ralph Fletcher. This year it was Kate Messner.

Kate is one of the first people I “met” on Twitter. I still remember being in awe when I learned that she was writing a book – The Brilliant Fall of Gianna Z – AND teaching middle school. That first year she Skyped with my school, shared insights from her classroom, and wrote more books. Amazing.

Kate’s talk at All Write dealt with the idea of mentors. She had a picture of Dumbledore up and said we often think our mentor has to be an old wise man, but really it can be anyone. Kate shared that it is important to look for your mentors, learn from them, and thank them. Mentors can help enrich our lives while helping us to grow and learn.

I sat at the table that night and reflected on this idea – who were my mentors? Truly, I am blessed with many. I have mentors that show me how to be a good parent, friend,

teacher, wife. The mentors in my life help me to grow, push myself, reflect. When I lose confidence in my abilities, there are mentors I turn to and gain guidance. And while I have fabulous mentors in my town, the mentors I thought of while sitting at Kate’s dinner have all become part of my life through Twitter.

Starting Twitter four years ago, I don’t think it would have dawned on me how important it would become. I attended this conference because of Twitter. Two teachers from my own district came for a day of it because I knew about it to share with them. I sat at tables, in sessions, or at dinner with people I consider close friends and those friendships began on Twitter. Leaving the conference, I brought my friend Donalyn to my home for a night to meet my family and talk books. I wouldn’t have known her without Twitter. And Sunday she and I drove three hours to meet two friends, shop for some books, and share a meal. Guess where we all met? Twitter.

These friends I have met through Twitter have become my mentors. They have shared ideas for teaching, helped me to solve issues in my classroom, and encouraged my own professional growth. They have pushed me out of my comfort zone and nudged me to think of writing a professional development book when I was sure that was impossible. They have become more than friends on a screen, they are my friends in real life and my mentors. So, as Kate suggested, I want to thank all of those Twitter friends for spending time with me at All Write and more – I’m grateful to you all.  

Thoughts on reading

This summer I have been giving a lot of thought to readers. How do we become readers? What conditions create readers? Are you born more likely to be a reader?

This line of thought began at the start of summer when I wrote this post: Raising Readers. My sons do like to read, some days more than others. But this picture of them was in the back of my mind.

Then I began my summer reading camp. Twelve kids, various ages and reading abilities meeting at my house. I’d watch them like an observer at the zoo. What was different child to child? Fascinating stuff.

The end of June came rushing up and with it an amazing conference that I have already written about – All Write. Donalyn Miller spoke there about the habits of readers and how we can teach these habits to our students to help them all become readers. Hmm. More food for thought.

Just in time, my family road trip arrived. 15 hours in the car and then eight days on an island. Bliss. I packed, my boys and Chris packed, and we were off.

Some things I noticed about the preparation for the vacation and the vacation itself, in relation to reading (and many of these were from Donalyn’s presentation – her words and my actions made them even more concrete):

·      Readers plan. (Donalyn talks about avoiding reading emergencies.) First thing I actually packed was books. I knew I needed to get caught up on my #nerdbery challenge so I picked those first. Luke and Liam both packed books they thought they might read on the trip, extras in case they finished. Chris packed two he had been meaning to get to along with all of the magazines he has been meaning to read.

Chris reading The Water is Wide

·      Reading role models are important. I think I’m a pretty obvious role model for my boys (and my students). Talk to me for more than ten minutes and we will have discussed books at least once. But I love that Chris is a role model. He doesn’t read as much as I do, but does read. His reading varies from books to magazines to comic books. My parents are also with us and ask the boys often what they are reading. In the afternoon or evening you might find them with a book. And sometimes your role models are more random. At a dinner with my cousin on the way down, Luke discussed the Harry Potter series with him.

Outside Little shop of Stories

·      Reading pervades your life. Books were part of our packing for the trip but also part of the trip itself. We drove to Atlanta to see Ivan from Katherine Applegate’s The One and Only Ivan. (Unfortunately it was too hot for Ivan to venture out that day!) We went to an independent bookstore in Decatur, Georgia because friends had told me how wonderful it was. I wore my Wonder t-shirt and had many discussions about that amazing book with the people in the bookstore.

Liam with his new best friend,
Pete the Cat.

Liam reading in the car. 

·      Part of being a reader is a desire to read. Liam is seven. He was a late reader and it had been a struggle. But he wants to be a reader. Sometimes I think he picks up a book because he wants to be seen reading, he knows I will comment. I will happily reinforce this habit. He is sad when he realizes a book Luke has just finished is too hard for him, but we talk about finding the right books at the right times. Liam is a reader because he reads, the fact that he has a desire to be one helps even more.

Luke reading in the hotel

·      Readers make time to read. I read daily. I’ve tried to read a book a day over the entire summer. Some days I fall short, but I still read. My boys read almost every day. There are some days they forget but I am here to remind them. When they are hooked on a book it isn’t difficult to get them to read. But when they are busy or just beginning a book, I have to be their reminder. It amazes me the amount of parents that lament their child’s struggle in reading. But when I see these kids at the pool and ask them what they are reading their answer is zip. Left to their own devices my boys would eat McDonalds daily, watch TV and play video games until they became zombies, and never sleep. As their parents we help steer them in the right direction. Reading is part of that.

Boys reading in hotel room with Pete the Cat

·      Finally, readers need to talk about reading. I lost track of the amount of people on the way down I recommended books to. I talked to my cousins, random shoppers in the bookstore, a stranger who asked about my Wonder t-shirt, my aunt and uncle, my parents. But what stopped me in my tracks was walking in the kitchen one day to hear Liam telling my mom, whom he calls “Mumsie”, that she just had to read Babymouse. I heard him say, “Mumsie, you will just love her.” The next day my mom handed him Babymouse Mad Scientist over breakfast and asked what else he had and told him how much she loved Babymouse. As I listened to them discuss the book I had one thought, awesome. 

As we prepare to pack and head back to the Midwest I am grateful I was raised in a way that reading became such a part of me. I know that helped shape who I am. Looking over my summer with the boys and my reading camp kids, I think I will continue to share what makes me a reader with my students this year. Maybe they will have conditions they need to succeed that I haven’t thought of yet? I know that the discussion will be enlightening.