Thanks to Clare for the inspiration for today's post. See her post from yesterday HERE.
July 10th, 2002 made my world spin. I began my most important job, that of being a mom. One that, over the years, I'd feel like I was failing and succeeding in equally alarming numbers.
|My mom with me.|
And then Liam came and I quickly found out that even having one kid that had already survived three years under my care was no guarantees that the next one would be any easier.
Looking back, I wish I would have relaxed. I worried so much, I forgot to have fun at times. Were they eating right, were they eating too much, too little? Would they ever get out of our beds? Would they sleep on their own? When parents of older kids told me the worries just get bigger, I'd laugh. Surely I'd have it all figured out by the time my boys were in school.
This is, as I often reflect, my most important job. I need to get this right and so much of it seems to be a crap shoot.
I'm a planner by nature and I want parenthood to be something I can check a box, do what I'm supposed to do, and my kids will be fine. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to work that way.
Friends often tell me my boys are great kids, we must be doing something right. Similar to teaching, I know the areas we do well in, and I know where we need to work. I feel like I'm always working.
This weekend one kid loves me, the other one would probably be glad to have a vacation from me. We've had lots of our conversation time in the car where I ask them to share their thoughts. (Not a favorite of my boys). As we wrap up the weekend, things still aren't perfect, but perfection is unattainable.
Tomorrow will come and the sun will rise. They might not always be thrilled with my decisions, but they know that I love them to pieces, that I try each and every day to be a good role model for them, that I want them to be a force for good in this world. I'm sure there will be days where I will be disappointed, I'm sure I will disappoint them.
As I type this I have around 1500 days until Luke graduates from high school, just over 2,200 days until Liam does the same. I've cut back on conferences, writing, and anything else that doesn't need to be a priority right now. All too soon they will grow up and leave me. That thought alone sends me into a bit of melancholy. Instead, I'll call Liam in a minute. We'll head upstairs for our shared reading time that we have each night. I'll talk to Luke about the book he just finished, March: Book Three. And I'll just soak it all in. It is, after all, my most important job.
Side note - if you have some Kleenex ready and want to hear a beautiful song about the impact of a mom, listen to this. (Supermarket Flowers). It's about the singer's grandmother, but you will get the idea.
Slice of Life is a challenge hosted by Two Writing Teachers.