Thursday, September 14, 2017

Walk a Mile in Their Shoes...

Just one reason I'm grateful to my students' parents,
delicious muffins...
I've long held the belief that politicians should spend some time in schools, to see what we are doing on a daily basis before making laws and mandates that make our job even harder. After talking to friends this week in nearby districts, and some in states far away, I would like to amend that request to ask parents to visit our schools as well. Maybe sub in a class or two. Pause, reflect. I've been blessed in my twenty+ years with amazing parents of my students. My friends have not been so lucky of late. Some general guidelines that would be beneficial include:

Remember that you are always being watched. Your kids look to you to learn who they should become. The way you talk about their teachers matter.

Come to us first. We can absolutely screw up, we're human. But let's approach this relationship as the partnership it is. Talking about us on social media, in the stands while you watch your kids in sports, or even just at a local restaurant, can sabotage our important partnership.

We love your kid, but we love the rest of the kids in the class too. I get it, I'm a parent. When I sent Luke to kindergarten, I wanted to pull aside his amazing teacher, Mrs. Coleman, and explain all that was wonderful about Luke, but all that worried me too. I stopped myself. Mrs. Coleman had nineteen other kids in that class. Each one of them was so important to their families, but needed to be equally important to Mrs. Coleman. As much as I'd love to give your child individualized attention all day, every day, I need to be a teacher to all of the students.

I do have a life outside of the classroom. My husband will laugh if he reads this, I work far too much. That being said, I go to my boys' sporting events. I occasionally go out on a date with my husband. I do answer parent emails when I'm at home, but that isn't a requirement. If your child's teacher does, great. If they don't, also great. They've balanced the work/home life better than I have.

Make your child responsible for their own learning. Long ago I decided to let my kids fail. I know, nice, right? I'd already taught for seven years by the time that Luke entered Kindergarten. I made that 100 day project in first grade all on him. If they forgot to study for a test, I didn't remind them. Lunches, band instruments, homework all left at home, I didn't get it. I figured failing at the lower grades would be good lessons. Not the end of the world, no huge lecture, just natural consequences. (Side note, the book Love and Logic taught me the majority of this.) So far, we're doing ok. My boys are not at an A+ average or anything, but they do well. They know that their grades are theirs, not mine. My value as a parent does not rest in their GPA. I try not to own their successes and failures in the classroom just as I don't make their successes and failures in sports about me. This is their life, let them figure it out while you are still their to help them pick up the pieces. 

It is truly ok if you don't know everything going on at school. Since moving to middle school from elementary school last year, I've talked to so many parents about this. There is less communication from the teachers, from the school. I asked why they (the parents) were struggling with that. I had an eighth grader at the time, so I knew what they were talking about, but I was curious. A lot was they were worried, they wanted to be as involved in their child's schooling as they had been. As much as I applaud their desire to be a part of their child's life, I pointed out that we are doing this in stages. A step back from the involvement in middle school, another big step back in high school, because we want them to be independent in just a few years to go to college. Hugs, parents of middle school kids. You've got this! 

And remember, we want to help you. If you are struggling at home with your kid, talk to us. If you are confused about what's going on at school, send us an email. I am so grateful for the parents I've worked with over the years. To say I've felt like part of their families would be an understatement. These people have my back, and always have. I appreciate them more than they know. A strong parent-teacher relationship is vital, and I wish everyone got to have that experience. 

Sending love to all parents and teachers as we begin the 2017-2018 school year. Parents, we are grateful every time you send that awesome email, at just the right time, to send thanks for no reason at all. You have no idea what that can do for our mood. Teachers, you are more important than ever. Reach out to the parents for help when needed. Remember why you dove into this profession in the first place. You are changing our world, one student at a time. 

And, on a selfish note, sending out thanks not only to all the parents of my current and former students - the ones who send me great messages, the ones who send me muffins and Starbucks, the ones who support me at home, the ones who smile and tell me they appreciate me - you all make my days, and years, so much easier. 

To the teachers my boys have had, thanks. You've helped me tremendously by pushing them, never letting up, and making them the people they are meant to be. So glad you've been on this journey with us.

To everyone, let's make this our best year yet. I firmly believe in public education. It is the way forward, it is the great equalizer. Let's move forward together and see what we can accomplish. I am certain this will be my best year yet.
 
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