Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Keeping It Real

I had a teacher contact me the other day in shame. She said she read my blog and wished she could always say the right thing with her students. That I was fitting so much in my day, when she couldn’t manage to do so in hers.

I hated to laugh outright at my computer, but I kind-of did.

I don’t mean to ever paint this blog in a way that I am perfect, because I’m not. I don’t mean to ever say that I have it all figured out, because that is certainly not true. I’m still learning, still trying, still messing up.

Every day.

Just this week I…
Lost my cool with a student,
And walked two laps around the room,
Before I went over to talk.
Because I knew,
I needed to breathe.

Just this week I…
Had emails from parents,
Questioning what I had done.
Wanting rationale,
Explanations,
Understanding.

Just this week I…
Sat with my student teacher,
Studying our calendar.
Wishing for more time,
Trying for the delicate balance
Teaching to the test,
Or preparing them for success.

Just this week I…
Talked to a former student,
Who hasn’t read for three years.
Spark Notes are his friend.
My heart despaired.

Just this week I…
Cried tears of frustration,
For the time spent doing
Extra jobs
For school
For others
For me.
And time spent away
From those I love.

And yet, just this week I…
Was reminded of why I love teaching.
Why relationships are
The single most important thing
In my classroom,
In our classroom.

I love my students and,
I think they love me,
Because we are all fallible.
I am,
So are they.
And they know it.

We screw up daily.
We are human.
But, if we come first,
With a pure heart,
It shows.

And then,
We can begin anew each day.
Hoping to improve just a little,

On the day before.
 
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