The Most Important Lessons

Five years ago I changed my teaching forever. I was in my second year of teaching only language arts, but that wasn't it. Five years ago I had a tough class. I loved them, of course, as you do every class you teach. This class, though, needed lessons I had taught explicitly before. They needed more than lessons on how to fall in love with books or how to share your writing. They needed lessons on becoming better people. 

I have always argued that the books I have read have made me a better person. I think I am more empathetic, more caring, more aware of the world around me. Five years ago I began sharing that with my students. Explicitly teaching them character lessons through shared texts, YouTube videos, articles, and more. I pushed them to really think about their actions. We reflected on what makes us who we are. I discussed how the coolest thing about each of us is that we get to decide how we want to be seen through our actions and our words. 

Each year I seem to dive into this work deeper. I am now convinced that the greatest gift I can give my students is self-awareness. I can help them become the best version of their selves that they can be. Of course we do this through reading and writing, so curriculum is still taught, but nothing is as important to me as being a good person. If we all did that, the world could be a better place. 

Except when it isn't.

My oldest son had a football game this weekend. Football at the middle school level is interesting. Some boys have already grown, others are still similar to when I had them two or three years ago. However, their smiles are still the ones I know. I love watching them. 

Yesterday's game was tough. The team we played was skilled. There were some ugly penalties, but that happens. Their coach was a bit over exuberant, but that happens. What I didn't expect to happen was for one of our players to be called names based on the color of his skin. 

Apparently it went on all game, but at the end of the game was when I became aware of it. First, by a rude comment someone from their side of the field called out. Then, by our player's ejection from the game. It seems he had had enough and pushed the other player who had been saying these words to him for the entire game. Going to that side of the field, I was met with shocked parents who had heard it going on the entire game. One of the refs heard it too and finally ejected the other child from the game as well.

The game was over by that point. Our boys came to the sideline and I saw tears streaming down their faces. They walked through the line to shake hands, including the boy who had been dealing with racial slurs the entire game. Watching our boys in the post-game huddle was hard. Tears were flowing freely. Two of my current students came up to talk to me about it. One looked at me and said, "That player on their team must not have a teacher who tells them to pay attention to their moral compass." I smiled.

Our players came off the field. I hugged a few, consoled my son who was shook up by the entire experience. I said a few words to my former student who had just experienced hatred when he should have had a great day playing football. 

Yesterday reminded me that what I am doing is important. Children are clay, waiting to be molded. We can help them be the best versions of themselves that they can be, or the worst. As teachers, we didn't go into this job thinking our responsibility was anything but the written curriculum, however I would argue it is this hidden curriculum that matters the most. We can make an impact on a child's life that last a lifetime. I was beyond proud of my current and former students last night. Their character shone bright. It will be a lesson I will share with my class on Monday. It is the most important lesson I can teach. 

Reminders of Relationships

I’ve written a lot about the importance of relationships, the impact of letting our students truly know us. Yesterday I saw three clear examples of the impact that this simple act can have. I wanted to share them here, but I hesitated. Was it bragging to share? Maybe yes and no. I am proud of what I do in the classroom, but I do want to help others. I thought some more.

I started the week at a writing retreat with friends. Late one night my friend, Franki, was talking about digital literacy. She looked at me and said it wasn’t my most important message. I was offended, at first, but then she asked me to really think about it, what was I driven to tell others about, to help them grow in regard to. Phrased that way, it came quickly to me, and it was something I already knew. Relationships. I still believe teachers think it is fluff. That it shouldn’t matter if you build strong relationships with your students. That teaching comes first. I have to disagree. I believe your students will grow far beyond your expectations if you lay the groundwork of relationships first. Then you will see an impact that lasts a lifetime.

I had several reminders of this yesterday, and then ended up making me want to share today. My husband was laughing at me last night. Sitting in our living room after I walked with a friend, I was reading two emails to him.

One was from my student, Olivia, who had emailed after returning from vacation. She had to tell me about finishing the last book in a series – a series both she and I adore. She knows I really don’t like the end of a series. It is too final, I hate being done. She ended with saying, “HOLY CHEESE. It's stinking AMAZING! I. Am. Mind blown. 

I know you don't like endings, but WOW, you should read it!”

I laughed. First of all, holy cheese? My new favorite exclamation. Second, I loved that she remembered I didn’t like endings, but wanted to convince me to read it anyway. She also wrote a reading response to it and uploaded it to Google Drive to share with me, just as she had all school year. I suppose it doesn’t matter to her that we ended school twenty-three days ago.

I received another email from my student, Lexie, yesterday. I had her in class two years ago. She wanted to tell me about a book she was reading that she knew I hadn’t read. She wrote me this great summary and then left off with a cliffhanger and an ellipsis. She then wrote this side note, “I remembered that your favorite punctuation is (...)”

This made me smile. Two years later she still remembers that I love the punctuation of an ellipsis? That she even still wants to take the time on summer vacation to send me a long summary of a book she’s reading? My heart was full to bursting.

Chris made an offhand comment that he thought I was working some sort of spell with these kids, that he would never have written to his teacher after the year was over. I said I just treat them like our boys, share dreams, fears, and things I love. That by doing that, they know me and then I get to know them.

Yesterday Luke, my oldest, and I spent the day together. He had a doctor appointment in the morning, then basketball, then we headed to lunch, and then to the orthodontist to get his braces put on. At a few days shy of thirteen, Luke seems more like a teen than ever. However as we drove to Champaign I was struck by how mature he was. He asked me if I was still trying to write a book for teachers. I shared that I had paused on that endeavor. He looked over, worried, and said why would I hit pause if that was my dream. We had a great conversation.

When we had extra time between lunch and the orthodontist, he suggested the bookstore. When he came to the children’s section to find me, I was reading a picture book. I closed it and said that I had to buy it. Luke asked why and I simply handed it over.

I walked over to look at other books and Luke read my book. He came over as I headed towards the front and said, “You’re buying it because of the sunrise. You love sunrises and sunsets and this book understands their beauty.”

Yep, my boys get me too.

The thing is, I strongly believe relationships are important. I think without them, we will only scratch the surface of what is possible. And I am so glad to occasionally have days that remind me of the importance of this work. Yesterday was one of those days.

Interview with Brian Wyzlic

Michigan Reading Association hosts an amazing conference each March. This year they also had one of the best - if not the best - kick-off celebrations to begin the conference. The brainchild of Colby Sharp, there were Ignites and lip-sync karaoke contests to begin our weekend. Fortunately, even if you were not at MRA, you can still hear the brilliant Ignite presentations that began our weekend of learning. Colby has organized a blog tour where they are sharing one Ignite per blog and I’m thrilled to be a part of it.

Brian Wyzlic gave an Ignite on one of my absolute favorite topics - relationships in the classroom. Before sharing Brian’s wonderful presentation, I wanted to ask him a couple of questions.

My questions are in black, Brian's answers are in green. 

Brian, first of all, could you explain to everyone what you teach and how long you’ve been in teaching?

Certainly, Katherine. I teach high school English and math to an awesome group of students. This is my 8th year teaching.

I know that you believe relationships with your students are a critical part of your teaching. How did you come to that belief?

I was actually just thinking about this the other day, before I knew this interview was coming. It goes back to my high school creative writing teacher, Mr. Hebestreit at Livonia Churchill High School. I remember sitting in his classroom, thinking how great it felt to be there -- like he actually genuinely cared about me as an individual. Like I mattered to him. Then I looked around the room, and I realized that it seemed as though everyone felt the same way. Not only did he care about us as a collective group of students, but he cared about us as individuals. I remember the work I did in that class, and now I’ve seen this power first-hand on the other side of things as a teacher.

What do you do to cultivate those relationships?

I try to do some things with each student, both simple and more complex. I greet every student at the door with a smile. But there’s a subtle thing I do with that. I don’t smile until I see each student. So they know my smile is a result of seeing them come to my class that day. It’s simple, but it’s powerful. I also try to get to know my students. I let them talk in my room, and I join in. And when I can -- this is where it gets more complex -- I use the things they’ve talked about (be it Clash of Clans, The Bachelor, Taylor Swift, anything really) in my classroom instruction. We know interest drives motivation. I just try to let them know I’m listening and that I care about their interests. I could go on for days here, but those sorts of things are the base of it all.

What benefits have you seen as a result of the bonds you have created?

When students trust their teacher, and have a good relationship with them, they’ll try things they don’t think they can do. My students take chances on writing a thesis that reaches a little bit, because they know I’ve got their back if it gets tough. They don’t give up when they’re not understanding polynomial long division because they know I’m not going to give up on them. I firmly believe that my students do more than they usually could as a direct result of the bonds I have with them.

What do you think is the biggest challenge in forging the bonds between teacher and student?

It takes time. Nobody can walk into a classroom on day one and have that trusting bond. That’s really frustrating when it’s a whole new group of students every year. It might take weeks to develop those bonds. It might take months. With some students, that bond will never come. The worst is when you, as a teacher, do something to hurt their trust in you. Two minutes of saying the wrong thing can take months of work away. But there’s nothing more important to their development as learners.

Do your relationships help you connect with the students after their time with you?

They do! Just a couple weeks ago, I had a student I had 5 years ago e-mail me to let me know he was graduating college and what else was going on in his life. Of course, it turned into a conversation about books, even though I had him for math :-)  I’ve also had the opportunity to tutor some students in college after they’d left my classroom. Another student just had her first child, and I was able to offer my congratulations to her. It’s like I have family everywhere I look. Can you imagine how awesome a world that is?

Is there anything else you want to share about creating relationships with your students?

To all the teachers out there, if you’re working on forging those bonds with your students, keep it up. It’s worth it. For those of you who don’t make this a priority, I hope you give it a chance. Know that it takes time. But as regular readers of your blog know, Katherine, it’s important. It’s just so important.

Thanks so much for stopping by, Brian. And now you can all see Brian’s fabulous presentation at MRA in the video below. If you want to learn more from Brian, head on over to his blog at WYZ Reads, or check him out on Twitter at @brianwyzlic.

Perception

 

I start each reading class the same way, with a quick write. Sometimes I share poems, sometimes picture books, sometimes videos. Whatever I share, the next step is to write our reaction to that item for two minutes. Occasionally I have the kids share their quick write with each other. More often I have them keep it just for them.

Today’s quick write was a bit unusual. I projected my iPhone up on our whiteboard using the Reflector app. The kids cheered as I opened Instagram. I told them that our share today would be to look through my own pictures that I have shared. We scrolled through the top twenty or thirty, and I gave a comment or two to let the kids know what they were looking at. Many of the kids follow me, and I follow them. And that was the impetus for this lesson.

After scrolling through Instagram this past weekend, I noticed an inordinate amount of selfies. Some kids posting upwards of fifteen in a twenty-four hour period. Looking at their feed I wondered, how was this feeding them? What image did they think they were projecting?

So, I shared my photos. After looking through the past month, I stopped and looked at my students. I asked them to be honest. If all they knew about me were the photos I posted on Instagram, what would they think about me? Their replies were:

·      You like Starbucks, books, reading.

·      Your family is important.

·      You go to a lot of basketball games.

·      You like nature – specifically sunrises and sunsets.

·      You have two sons.

·      You have a dog.

·      You seem nice.

·      You seem happy.

The last two really got me. All three classes said a version of that. Each time I asked, what about the pictures made you think that. The answers varied, but a lot of it centered around a positive feeling they had when looking at my feed.

I then scrolled through again and asked them to look for pictures of me. They found three – all with a friend or loved one. No selfies.

I asked them to pause for a moment and think – if they had Instagram, ponder what their feed would say to someone else. And whether they had Instagram or not, to think about what message they are putting out there to others? Would they be willing to stand in front of their class and ask what the others thought about them? Were they afraid of what would be said? If so, why?

And then, they wrote.

I watched each class for those two minutes. They were focused. Some, a little emotional. Two minutes was over and many continued to write. I brought them back and asked them to look over what they wrote and think, were they happy with what they believed to be others’ perception of them? If so, awesome. If not, how could they change it.

We looked back at my feed and I reminded them, what I put out there online, I am proud of. I don’t post a status that I will regret later. I don’t post photos I am ashamed of. I’m well aware of who I am, and I absolutely like that person. I smiled and looked at these beautiful kids. I want them to like themselves. Selfies won’t necessarily get them there. They aren’t all bad; we found one on my feed – when I got coffee. We looked at it and talked about why I took one that day. I asked them if they use Instagram; use it to share, to inspire, to teach us about who they are. Not to look at it to fill themselves up, but to fill up others. In doing so, they will be happier too.

I don’t think you’ll find today’s quick write tied to any Common Core State Standard. I’m also 100% certain there is nothing else I should have been doing.