Teaching Independence

Chris and Luke have been in Canada for the last week – on a fishing trip with the guys in my family. You need to be nine to go, so Liam and I had a week together. It was only in having Liam by himself that I made an important discovery – he is not self-sufficient.

My nature is one of independence. I remember realizing this as a new mother for the first time, determined to do everything needed for this new baby. I’d rely on Chris for assistance, but hated asking for help beyond him. I knew to feel confident in my new role, I needed to be the one doing the work. This is a fault, I am sure, but I also do strongly believe in teaching children independence. 

With Luke I think we’ve done a good job of this. For an eleven year old, he can do almost anything I’d ask of him. I trust him completely to finish tasks and he is extremely responsible. I didn’t realize that he was doing so much for Liam – or that I was asking him to do so much for his brother – until he was gone.

All week I would ask Liam to do something, and he’d give me a million reasons why he couldn’t. From things like taking the dog out at night, to getting brownies he wanted when they were too high to reach, to emptying the bathroom trash, I was met with a child who was helpless. The last straw for me was when we were bringing groceries in. Both of us had full hands, yet Liam reached the door long before I did and waited for me to come. I asked why and he said he couldn’t open the door, his hands were full. I looked at my own hands and said mine were too, what could we do?  He simply shrugged. I deliberately – and slowly – put one bag down, opened the door, and we walked in as I picked up my own bag again.

Unloading our groceries in the kitchen, I talked to Liam about independence and how it feels good to do things for ourselves. I talked about how it was problem solving and that if we use our brains we can often figure out answers to the problems we have, but that we can ask for help if needed. He was irritated at first but then quietly listened as I gave him some examples.

Yesterday we were driving from Target to lunch and Liam sat behind me in the van. He was trying to open a package and it was a bit of a struggle. I asked what was going on and his reply was:

“It’s fine, mom. I’m using my brain and problem solving the best way to open this.”

I had a silent laugh as I continued to drive. When we pulled in the parking lot I opened his door and he held up the open package triumphantly. There are still lessons to be taught, but we’re on the right track.

Driving home from lunch with Liam I couldn’t help but think of my classroom. I set so much of the room up for independence. I’m ridiculously organized in the classroom – to Chris’s amazement. I want the students to know where things go without my constant assistance. I teach routines for the first few weeks of school – longer than I feel I need to – because then the classroom runs smoothly for the rest of the year. One area I think I need to work on teaching independence, however, is book selection. Often kids ask for help, unsure as to what book to read. I love spending this time with students individually – it is a wonderful time to conference – but like in my own family where Liam needs more help than Luke, typically it is the same students I’m helping over and over. This means I spend an inordinate amount of time with one child while many kids who are already picking their own books successfully don’t see me.

I don’t know what the right answers are for this, but like many issues I’ve had in the classroom, I will likely use lessons from parenting to try and solve it. I will do what I’ve always done in teaching them to select their own books: talking about genre, preferences, authors, classroom set up, recommendations from friends, etc. This year I think we’ll add one more thing. I can have the same conversation I had with Liam about independence and see where that takes us. Independence gives us confidence, belief in ourselves. Thanks to Liam for reminding me of that. 

It's Here! #pb10for10

Join Cathy at Reflect and Refine and Mandy at Enjoy and Embrace Learning for this fun event. 

It is not like me to put something off. I like to get things done as soon as possible because if I do procrastinate, it will be ugly. I’ll think about it, and think about it, and think about it – giving far more time to the thing I have to do than if I had just sat down and done it. That being said, trying to pick ten picture books to share on August 10^th for #pb10for10 is tough. Knowing these are supposed to be ten picture books I couldn’t live without, impossible.



I thought about this list a few ways. I thought I could go with a theme – 10 funny books, 10 new books, 10 books my students loved last year, 10 books that I use in mini-lessons. None of it seemed right. When it really came down to it, I wondered – what ten picture books do I simply have to have in my fifth grade classroom? This was my list.

What You Know First by Patricia MacLachlan

My love for this book is pretty well documented. I love using it on the first day. I’m able to show the student what it looks like to “know” background info on an author, to have a favorite author, and what it’s like to love a “quiet” book. I also use it on the first day to talk about what we bring with us from the years past in school. (Some good, some bad.) For that reason, I also read this book on the last day of school to talk about what they are taking with them as they move on from me.

I Want My Hat Back by Jon Klassen

I will share this while wearing the red hat that Jen Vincent sent me so long ago. I will use this book to talk about text complexity when it seems so simple and also about community. I will share with them the conversations my friends and I have had around this book and the teams that developed as a result. With this one book I think they will be able to see how books factor into my life.

Bluebird by Bob Staake

I shared this book for the first time last year and was unbelievably moved. I will never forget sharing it with my son, Liam. He was seven. When I pointed out a page towards the end and said how sad the mean kids looked and maybe this was too sad to share with kids, Liam said “Sometimes you can’t take what you did back.” We talked about how sorry can’t fix everything. This book shows the power of story – without words.

It’s a Book by Lane Smith

I’ve shared this book every year since it came out because of one simple word – jackass. I remember when I got the book; not knowing that one of the characters was indeed a jackass and was called that in the book. At first I wasn’t sure whether I should share it or not. The book is hilarious and the two different ways the word is used would be fascinating to study. J The power of a word – exemplified in this picture book.

The Monster at the End of This Book by Jon Stone

I share this book when I want to talk about dreams and purpose. I read this book for the first time as a second grader. When talking to my former first grade teacher, Jan Tuck, she invited me to her classroom to read it to her new students. I remember seeing those kids sitting in front of me, waiting. I remember being nervous. I remember trying hard to put inflection in my voice. And I remember the first laugh, and more, and more, until they were begging me to read it again. I remember vividly leaving that room and knowing I must be able to read to kids daily. A powerful memory.

Roller Coaster by Marla Frazee

I love using this one to explain what I mean by craft choice. The kids often enjoy this book, asking it to be read again and again. I also point out how much “fun” it is to read and we discuss how to make our own writing that way. I simply love Marla’s books and this is one way to introduce her to my students.

My Great Aunt Arizona by Gloria Houston

This book is another that I use at the end of the year. In my tiny town, I do get to watch my students grow up, move on, and come back. We talk about our year together and our dreams down the road. We also talk about the choices we make and how they will determine whether our dreams become reality. I use this book as a way to say goodbye to my students.

The Relatives Came by Cynthia Rylant

I have several books by Rylant I enjoy sharing, but this one is at the top. The words she uses in this book are just brilliant. We talk about the concept of show, not tell, here. For example, the kids always point out the crowded house and how instead of saying it’s crowded she says it’s hard to sleep with all of that breathing. Brilliant.

Enemy Pie by Derek Munson

I would say I use this book most years – but not every. This year I absolutely will be because I want to talk about assumptions and changing our point of view of another person. Both are lessons that I know my new class needs and I think will inspire rich discussion.

Count the Monkeys by Mac Barnett

I love Mac’s books and this one is no different. Sometimes you just need to have fun, and this one will have them rolling. Seeing as it was recently released, I’ve never used this book with a class. Both of my boys read it immediately when it arrived at our house and both gave glowing reviews. I cannot wait to try this one out with my fifth graders.

There you have it! Ten books I love. Considering I have three hundred picture books in my classroom, this was extremely difficult. Check out the other posts in the #pb10for10 group – and get ready to feel your wallet cry. J Thanks for hosting this group Cathy and Mandy! 

Lessons on Conferring

Sometimes inspiration strikes you when you least expect it. I tell my students about this. How writers live their lives with their eyes wide open – paying attention – waiting for inspiration to strike. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. And sometimes it comes when you are sitting wrapped in a loosely draped sheet in a doctor’s office.

Yesterday was my annual skin check. I have a great uncle who died from skin cancer. Chris has an aunt who passed away from it far too young as well. Not one to take this lightly, every year I trek to see my dermatologist and have an all body check. There are a lot of freckles on my short frame, so it’s important to get the all clear.

As my doctor came in, talked to me, and asked questions, I was struck with how very similar this interaction was to a conference with my students. When I talk to teachers about conferring, they are often intimidated, nervous even. They ask if I have a list of questions, a list of teaching points. I don’t think they believe me when I say I just listen to the kids, but that is indeed what I do.

My doctor came in the office and greeted me, asking how I was doing. I said something about the summer speeding to a close. He laughed and said he often sees teachers in this last week as they rush to check off their “to do” list before returning to school.

He proceeded to scan my body while I asked a few questions, pointed out some concerns. Although this is a speedy doctor – my appointment was at 7:30 a.m., I arrived at 7:15 and was walking back to my car by 7:30 – I never felt rushed. He made eye contact, would ask follow-up questions to ensure he understood my worry, and give me an answer. His focus was on me the entire time and by the time I left, I felt lighter.

My reading and writing conferences are so similar to this – I greet the kids, often asking how they are doing. There is a quiet give and take. They need to lead the conference, just as I led the appointment. I listen to their questions/concerns/comments and reply as needed. If I see an issue, we will discuss further. They should leave the conference feeling lighter as well – on track to read their book or work on a piece of writing.

My doctor left the room, scribbling a few notes. I smiled as I prepared to go, thinking of my own hastily written notes after conferring with students. Using my iPhone and the Evernote app, I record our discussion and anything I’m wondering about or concerned with. I assume what he wrote was very similar to that.

In just thirteen days I will meet a new group of kids. The numbers this year are, I fear, going to be much higher than I’m used to. I plan on keeping my doctor in mind – to make each child feel like I have all the time in the world for them, that I am there to listen, and that there is no place I’d rather be. I’m grateful for my doctor; he gave me just the reminder I needed. I can’t wait for my first conference this year.

My Comfort Zone

I was reading my friend Brian’s blog yesterday (found HERE) where he talks about making a move. It is a move from a larger city to a smaller one and he relates how many friends couldn’t see the logic behind it. He talks about how not all places are the right fit for all of us – nor all books the right fit for all readers. That analogy really resonated with me.

I’ve shared before that I live in a tiny town – a town with a population of 5,000. We do have two traffic lights, growing up we had zero. Apparently we’ve hit the big time now. If I want a Starbucks, I need to drive through 20+ miles of cornfields to get one. Ditto for going to a mall, bookstore, or most restaurants. That being said, this is the perfect spot for me.

I didn’t always live here – in fact, my parents encouraged me to leave as soon as possible. They pushed me to go away to college, but I promptly returned. When I graduated and got married, we moved away. Jobs took us north – to the suburbs of Chicago, just about as opposite a spot as you can imagine.

For two years we lived up there, and part of me enjoyed it. I loved the options, the nearness to the city, the people. But part of my heart knew I wasn’t at home. Deep down I was certain of one thing, I would be returning to the small town I loved. This place was simply temporary.

There are friends of mine who think I am crazy. They love the feel of the city. Small towns like mine make them feel claustrophobic. The fact that everyone knows you – and knows your story – makes them want to run for the hills. I get it.

What this boils down to is the idea that not one spot is right for every person. Some want to live where it’s warm, some want to experience the seasons. Some need to live surrounded by people, and some would prefer quiet. What does this look like in our classrooms?

Brian mentioned that his move made him think of his readers – and that not all books work for every reader. I completely agree. I can think of many times that I have read a book recommended to me and just thought it was ok. Last year I recommended a book to my friends Tony and Franki – who often share similar preferences with me in regard to what we read. They both disliked my recommendation. I was surprised, at first, but then realized that this happens all of the time. Depending on your background, mood, and preferences – the books you love might not be the books I love.

Thinking more about this, I thought about my classroom. Kids can choose how to respond to what they read, where they want to sit, if they need to have a quiet conversation in reading or writing time, or if they need silence. I have kids that stand to work, kids that sit on their knees. Kids that choose to lay on their stomachs on the floor to write, and kids who must be at a table.

When I look at my room as I set it up in August, I often am reminded of the hours I will spend here during a given school year. I want a place that I will be comfortable in. For the past few years I have also looked at it from my students’ point of view – is it a place they will be comfortable? Just as I am now aware of the type of spot I feel best living in, I want my students to learn the type of conditions they need in place to learn in - what is their comfort zone? Choice is embedded in everything we do in our classroom – what we read and write, how we respond, and what type of space we need in order to learn. We are all so different and I am grateful to Brian’s post for reminding me of that.