Saturday, April 7, 2018

April Writing Challenge

So a week ago I wrapped up my March writing challenge, a blog post a day. I made it for all thirty-one days, even though there were many days that I really want to skip. I wondered why I had made the challenge in the first place. I wondered if anyone would even notice if I didn't write. 

I knew I'd notice.

I can't stick to a diet for anything, yet give me a writing challenge and I become a woman on a mission. Whatever.

At any rate, as I wrote last weekend, I talked to my friend Cindy last Saturday and said I was trying to figure out what to write for April. I confided that I wondered about trying fiction, maybe even something like a romance book since she and I were constantly reading new ones and discussing them. It wouldn't be that hard, right? 

Cut to Cindy looking up the average length of a romance novel...80,000-90,000 words. 

Holy crap.

But I decided to dive in. I put up some photos on a bulletin board in my bedroom, inspiration for my novel. My husband raised his eyebrow at me. I asked him who wouldn't want to look at Jason Momoa on a daily basis. 

I cleared a desk off, organized the reading nook in my bedroom, lamented that I couldn't buy an overstuffed chair that would be perfect to sit in to write. Glanced down at my yoga mat, reflected on the last time I'd actually been to a yoga class, and realized I was already off track. At that point I made a plan to check in with Cindy each day and share if I wrote for at least thirty minutes and what my current word count was.

On Sunday, I sat down to write.

Holy hell, it was hard. 

I had an idea for my male protagonist, inspired by Jason Momoa. I named him Max. The female was a struggle, but then Stana Katic popped in my brain. I think she's gorgeous, so I christened her Emma. Where did they live? How did they know each other? I started typing.

Seven days in, I haven't missed a day. I've roughly averaged a thousand words a day. I'm completely out of my element, have to tell my inner editor to shut up on a regular basis, and having a blast. Today I decided that maybe my inner editor's name is Helga and she truly is evil. 
Tonight's writing required a Fat Tire.
Writing a romance book is a trip. I tend to curse a lot in real life and in this? I let it fly. Haven't written any "romance" scenes yet. I might have to have several glasses of wine to get that accomplished, but I don't think I've laughed more when I've written than I have on this project. I love Max, I love Emma. I love Emma's friend Maggie even more, I wish she was real. I'd absolutely want to hang out with her.

As I write I'm falling more in love with writing, which is unexpected. I don't think I'm good at it necessarily  but I enjoy doing it. I like trying something that feels like a challenge, like I'm working my brain in a new way. My students know that I'm trying this challenge in April, and that they won't be able to read it, but they ask how it's going each day. They are certainly good cheerleaders and I can't wait to see where I am at the end of the month, if only so I can share with them that I did it. 

Seven days in, twenty-three to go. I can't wait to see where Max and Emma take me next. 
Day seven, done.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

My Next Writing Challenge

I was attempting to write everyday in March.
Today I've finished, 31 posts for 31 days.

February 28th I pondered the idea of doing a March writing challenge. I knew I couldn't do the official Slice of Life challenge on Two Writing Teachers. My life was crazy busy, writing posts were going to take up free time I didn't have. Trying to read a ton of other posts and comment would be next to impossible. Even trying to comment back to you fabulous folks on here has been a failure. Please know, I read every comment. I appreciate them more than I can tell you. Time is elusive and escapes me all too often. That being said, the challenge is complete. I'm so happy that I made this deal with myself and absolutely have seen a difference in my writing. It comes easier, ideas pop in my head all day, and while finding the time at the end of the day to write has been a struggle, the writing hasn't been. So, on to new challenges.

My friend Cindy and I talk each day. One of our favorite topic is what we're reading. As many of you know, since July I've been on a romance reading kick. I've been fascinated by my interest in this genre - I've never really read romance books before and I typically only read books for kids. That being said, I've found myself more and more drawn to reading these books, finding new authors when I read everything Kristen Ashley has written, learning about new topics because who knew that hockey players featured so heavily into many a romance series. What I'm more interested in, however, is how people see romance books and the people who read them. I've been told it isn't "real reading", that the writing is sub par, that I'm wasting my time, or just been given a look of judgement. Why is that? I should note, that these reactions are mainly coming from colleagues. My dearest hope is that they don't judge what their students are reading in the same way. Hopefully graphic novels and rereading of books are allowed in their classrooms, but I fear that they aren't. 

One day I will write the lessons I've gleaned from this new genre of reading, it would be a fun post. But for now, I wanted to share that this reading spree I've been on has inspired me to try fiction writing for the month of April. This will not be writing for my blog, but simply for me. Non-fiction writing comes easily to me - I can write about my day, parenting, teaching, etc. Fiction writing is difficult. Yet today, when I made the pact with Cindy to try and write for thirty minutes every day and report in to her, I got excited. I thought of some characters on the way to Champaign. I made a bulletin board an "inspiration board" in my bedroom by my desk. I sketched out several characters and an overall plot. It was a blast and I saw ideas everywhere I turned. 

So, let's see where this month takes me. I have no idea if it will be towards something real, or just writing for fun. I do know I'm beyond excited to try it and thrilled that I have my writing mojo back. And just because I'm writing for me, I hope to be blogging still at least once a week. So stick around, I'll keep you posted. And if you have any fiction writing recommendations, send them my way. I'm all ears. 

Friday, March 30, 2018

A Day of Nothing

I'm attempting to write everyday in March.Today is post 30 of 31.

Our Spring Break was not filled with trips to sunny beaches, warm destinations. There was no travel involved, other than to a town or two over. Our break involved track practices, dentist appointments, vet visits, and time with family. All important, all worthwhile. My only qualm was that I did not have any uninterrupted time at home, until today.

Friday stretched ahead of me today gloriously empty. Luke had practice, but he had a ride there and back. Liam was at a sleepover. I needed to run to the grocery store at some point, but it could wait. I woke and walked each dog a mile, feeling grateful that the rain had finally left and the sun was shining. On my walk, as I do each day, I talked to my listened to message from my friend Cindy on Voxer and left her some as well. 

Upon returning home I debated what to do. Looking at my email inbox, I knew I needed to do some scheduling work for Nerdy Book Club that I had put off for two weeks. Two and a half hours later, I was finally done and my inbox was dramatically better, though not at inbox zero yet. Cindy and I continued to leave messages on and off for each other, brainstorming projects and sharing weekend plans. After I was done, I curled up with my dogs and a book. 

I read on and off for several hours, talking to my boys, having pizza for lunch, and straightening up a bit around the house. In another message with Cindy we hit upon a writing challenge for April (I'll write more about that tomorrow) that necessitated a trip to Champaign and the purchase of a bulletin board. We talked more on and off as I ran errands, grabbed some food at the store for dinner, and drove the thirty miles home. 

Now it's early evening. Chris is home, kids that aren't mine are leaving the house, and I'm ready to cook some dinner and maybe have a Fat Tire to celebrate an amazing day of nothing, but one that was filled just the same.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Food is Love

I'm attempting to write everyday in March.Today is post 29 of 31.

The other day I was rereading a book from Kristen Ashley called Sweet Dreams. I got to this section:

I just had a similar conversation with Luke the other day. His friends were coming over to play D&D and I asked what I could make and he said everyone had to bring their own sacks. I looked at him and said, "You don't get it, I like cooking for you all. What can I make?" He grinned and asked for chocolate chip cookies. 

Tonight my parents came by for dinner. My dad had a birthday awhile back and we hadn't really had a chance to celebrate with his knee surgery and all. When thinking of what to make, I thought of what they love.

I made guacamole knowing how much my mom loves it.

Homemade pizza because that is a win for everyone, except Liam. (And he was gone anyway.) I use this dough. 

A fruit crostata because I can use any fruit we have, my dad loves it, AND it is one of the few desserts Luke will eat. (Recipe HERE)

I do believe that, once again, my romance books have an excellent lesson inside. Food might not be love, but making it for others absolutely is. And I don't think love is only found in the act of making it, but in the consideration of what dishes they would like to eat and remembering the stories that go with each. For example, I will never forget the first time I had guacamole. It was at my grandmother Mumsie's house. My mom and my Aunt Margaret were eating it. If they could have licked the bowl clean, they would have. I can see them sitting on the couch, laughing, munching on chips like it was yesterday. In reality, it was over twenty years ago. 

Tonight we sat down together, my mom putting salad on Luke's plate. My dad turned to Luke and told the story of my mom and dad, newly married, visiting the same restaurant over and over, trying to figure out how to make the salad. Going home, experimenting, heading back to try the salad again, determined to get it right. Food is love. Food contains stories, memories. And when you cook for those you love, it is something special indeed. 

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

The Best Part of Parenting

I'm attempting to write everyday in March.Today is post 28 of 31.

Chris and I became parents back in 2002. One thing I've learned over the years as a mom to Luke and Liam, a teacher to many, is that parenting is a crapshoot. I have seen some amazing parents that have children that have lost their way. I've seen some fabulous kids that have essentially raised themselves. Crapshoot. 

That being said, we've raised Luke and Liam the best we know how, but also know that we can only do so much. They are the captains of their own ship and will determine their own course. I won't speak for Chris here, but there are a few guiding beliefs that have helped us along the way...

Hands Off
This one is big for me. My start of teaching in my district was in a Kindergarten-4th grade building. I'd walk down the hall on 100 Day thinking what a fabulous job some parents did on their kids project. My reaction to that was that school was Luke and Liam's responsibility. Sure I'd help them study, if they asked. If I knew if they had a test coming up, I'd ask how they were doing. But that's it. This has backfired, absolutely. They've failed tests. They've had grades they wished were higher. My goal, however, was that they cared about their grades, not us pushing them to succeed. So far, with a 7th and 9th grader, we seem to be on the right track. Time will tell if this will continue to work, but we don't argue about homework. The amount of late assignments they've had over their school career for both kids could be counted on one hand. And when they bomb a test, as one did recently, they are far more hard on themselves than I am. 

My students would tell you, I'm not a yeller. While yelling might work for some, it absolutely doesn't work for me. I remember a student once told me that they hated getting in trouble with me because they knew I was "disappointed" in them and that was the worst. Pretty much how I parent too. Yelling can be tuned out, if I'm upset I whisper. And Chris would say I use a heavy dose of Irish Catholic Guilt to get a point across. Works for me.

Lax Technology Rules
This began as a summer rule, I didn't care how many hours they played video games as long as they did some type of chore everyday, read for thirty minutes at a minimum, and exercised. We had a checklist and I didn't want to battle them all summer long. While they will absolutely play for hours online, they are just as likely to have a Nerf war in the neighborhood, shoot hoops, go for a run, or watch a movie. I have only a few hard and fast tech rules for them:

  • No Grand Theft Auto. This is my oldest son's least favorite rule. Yes, they have first person shooter games. However, when I went to GameStop years ago with Luke so he could buy this game, the employee was one of my former students. He immediately said no. Then he and his boss began to describe what could be done in the game. This still gets a hard no for Luke even though he could now buy it himself. 
  • Cell Phones are mine. I used to monitor their cell phones nightly. Then weekly. Now, whenever I feel like it, typically monthly. While my youngest hates this rule, and we've battled about it, I told them I'm flipping through text message, photos, and social media so that I am their excuse. If someone is sending them something they aren't comfortable with, they can say their mom checks their phone. With both boys I've seen them use me as the excuse why someone needs to stop something in a group text or social media. I'm glad to provide that service.
  • Cell phones are charged at night outside my room. They can have alarm clocks to wake them up, phones go to a dresser outside my room at night so they sleep.
Encourage Their Passion, not Ours
This was a lesson we learned this year. Luke played basketball from 5th-8th grade. He was a decent player, but last year in 8th grade he told us he was done at the end of the season. Chris is a huge fan of basketball and hated to hear that. I was shocked because he was a good player, why would he give it up? But, as we reminded each other, it isn't about our feelings, it is what Luke wants. So 9th grade basketball has just come to an end and Luke didn't play. We were worried he'd regret it, but he didn't. 

Their passions vary from time to time, but have settled into something similar for both boys. They love running. Luke had immediate success in this sport when he began in 7th grade. Liam is starting to improve here at the end of 7th. They both love music - Liam in band playing drums, Luke in the songs he listens to and discusses with Chris. They are obsessive about video games and play online with their friends constantly. They both have fabulous imaginations - whether in creating their own videos, playing D&D, or in their writing. 


Being a parent has absolutely made me a better teacher. I've tried and failed more often than I can count. I know that while we might have these rules, the boys don't always love them. They will absolutely try to break them. But as a middle school teacher, I'm able to tell my middle school parents that it gets better. That it is good to let them fail if you can, that they need to care more than you do. And I also can watch my friends with young children parent and tell them it gets easier, it really does.

Today I was driving to pick Liam up from track practice. As I drove down a quiet street I saw a pack of runners headed towards me. Glancing at the pack, I realized Liam was one of them with his neon blue shorts on. I was puzzled, his practice was over. Then I wondered what fool was running without a shirt on, waving like crazy. Of course, it was Luke. When Liam jumped in the car twenty minutes later I asked why he'd been running with Luke's crew. Luke, as a freshman, had been the youngest (besides Liam). The rest of the kids were juniors and seniors. Liam grinned and said they had asked him to run with him and encouraged him along the way, especially his big brother. That's the best part of parenting. Seeing them grow, watching what they will become. They get to choose that, not us, and it is an amazing sight to behold. 

Crazy runners - Luke  (no shirt), Liam (blue shorts)

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

The More Things Change...

I'm attempting to write everyday in March.Today is post 27 of 31.

Today I thought a lot about that old adage, the more things change, the more they stay the same. So much of who I am has remained consistent over the years. Today I sat in the dentist waiting room as Luke had his six month check-up and I read, just as I have since I was a kid. On our drive there and back I blared Pearl Jam's Ten, much as I did back in high school. When faced with Easter candy to purchase for the boys, I immediately grabbed my favorites - solid chocolate eggs.

However, time marches on and things do change. I can see that in my boys. When faced with a thirty minute car ride to Champaign, they no longer ask to watch a DVD or bring toys to occupy their time. As I ran errands today, Luke stayed in the car watching YouTube or texting friends. There was no hand held in mine as we raced across the streets, looking both ways, and squeezing each other's hands three times to represent I Love You over and over again. At one point today I looked over at his profile in the car and his dark brown eyes looked back. If I go back far enough, I can remember back fifteen years to the first time I held him. How are we here already?

Knowing I need to treasure every moment, I asked if Luke wanted to grab lunch before returning to Monticello. He quickly agreed and asked to get sushi. I think the waitress was a bit in shock as he ordered a plate of vegetable dumplings and four different sushi rolls. My boy, he certainly does like to eat. Luke isn't the chattiest of kids, never has been, but it was an awesome morning just the same.

Returning home, Luke headed to track practice and I grabbed Liam to go help my mom move some furniture. I was lamenting in my head, and my heart, how parenting changes so much. The relationship we have with our kids flies by and they are so anxious to grow up while we stand by, wishing time would slow just for a moment. At that moment Liam and I were trying to pull a box spring out of my uncle's pick-up truck and bring it to the garage. I heard my dad shout, "Hold up. You will hurt your back." I turned around grinning as he tried to push me out of the way so he could grab the box spring instead. He chastised me, trying to help, while I pointed out that his knee was just replaced a month ago and this was not happening. In the back of my mind I thought of the fact that forty-four years in, my dad is still trying to take care of me, that I'm still his little girl. 

Hmm. Maybe things don't need to change so quickly after all. 

Monday, March 26, 2018

Happiness Is...

I'm attempting to write everyday in March.Today is post 26 of 31.

It's spring break here, which means our house becomes even more of a revolving door than usual. Liam has left for two different sleepovers since Friday. Luke has had a variety of kids coming in and out. I wrote this poem yesterday while Luke and five friends sat in our dining room playing Dungeons and Dragons while I read upstairs. Listening to them play, hanging out with my pups and reading, I was filled with joy.


Happiness is...

The sound of teenage boys
dice on a table
murmured stories
shouts of laughter
piles of sneakers by the door.

The sun streaming through a bedroom window
dogs sprawled on my bed
romance book on my phone
hours of spring break stretched out ahead of me.

The smell of chocolate chip cookies
wafting up from the kitchen
warm out of the oven,
placed on a plate
to be devoured in minutes.

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