Still Learning

 

My students were surprised the other day when I told them I was rushing out of school with the kids at dismissal on Thursdays in October because I needed to get home to take a ‘class.’ Why on earth, many of them asked, was I still talking classes? I’d taught for almost thirty years.

I love learning. Far more than when I was a kid, as an adult I’m fascinated by it. Yesterday, for example, we had an inservice day in my district. In the morning I listened to Chase Mielke talk to us about burnout. I attended another session from Chase about growth mindset. (He’s fabulous, by the way, if you’re looking for a presenter.) After Chase’s second session, I attended one from two teachers in our district talking about how we learn and how they’ve shifted the way they teach over the years. It was rejuvenating. 

But that Thursday class I’m taking? It is one that reminds me of what I know to be true. I can’t attend NCTE this year like I normally do. Although my district would pay for the conference, I pay for my own travel and a plane ticket to Boston is not in my budget this year. So, when I saw Penny Kittle, Linda Rief, and Tom Romano were holding a series of Zooms on the teaching of memoir, I signed up immediately. 

Last week we heard from all three of these mentors. They each guided us in writing of our own, modeling what this looks like in our classroom. I sat, pen to paper, scribbling down memories as fast as I could, my mind pinging once again at what I could transfer to the classroom.

Learning never stops, as I’ve told my students so many times. Long buried lessons emerge, as they did yesterday when my colleague, Jim, talked about metacognition and cognitive dissonance. I’m so grateful for all of the chances to shake out the cobwebs on a regular basis and become a student once again.

One of my Favorite Days

 

One week in officially with these kids and I can tell it's going to be a great year. As I mentioned last week, my ELA colleague and I like to do a slower start to the year and spend the first week getting to know our students and trying to build some community in each class period. I have to admit, this is something that was far easier in elementary school when you have the same crew with you all day long. As a result, we have to consciously pick activities that get them moving, talking to their classmates, and inadvertently sharing about themselves. We played games like this or that, choose three, and soup/ salad/ or sandwich. We did a lot of writing and sharing. 

On Thursday we did one of my favorite lessons. Jason Momoa shared a video years ago advertising for Carhartt called Canvas of My Life. In it, he talks about what he values and what’s important to him. We watch it, take notes about what we learn about Momoa, and then they write their first essay for me. In it they share what their values are and often compare themselves to Momoa. I look forward each year to reading their essays. 

And watching Momoa for several periods isn’t too bad either. 

First Day Exhaustion

 

Today was our first day of school and I am ready for bed. Well, I am, but it was also an amazing day. It's amazing how twenty-nine years in, it still exhausts me and I never feel like I'm quite ready before the kids come. I don't think it would matter if I was there four hours a day for four weeks leading up or just two, there is always more to do and that's okay. 

I left a message for a friend after school. I know we are in the honeymoon period, I know there will be all sorts of problems to fix in the next few weeks. And after one day with these kids, I see so much potential for our year ahead.

One thing my ELA colleague and I are doing differently this year is a much slower start to the school year. Next week we be filled with community builders, chances for me to get to know each student, and loads of time to find a perfect book to start the year with.

Today, my main goal beyond getting some routines established was to let my students get to know me. I put up a slide with pictures of me (see above) and asked my students to get up and move around the room. They could go behind my desk, look at displays, just study the classroom for five minutes. When they got back to their desks, I asked them what they could infer about me from what they'd observed. It was awesome. 

A school year lasts 180 days. We are only three in (two inservices, one day of student attendance), but I am very hopeful about the year ahead. I can't wait to see what we have in store.

What will be the hits this year?

 

Last week a romance author I love, Lucy Score, had a post on her reading group asking for teacher's classroom wishlists. I posted one and a lovely reader purchased every item I had on my list. So unbelievably kind. As I took the books into my classroom today, I began to label them and wondered what books will be the hits this year. If you've been in the classroom, you know what I'm talking about. The books that are passed hand to hand, never seeing the shelf, but always moving on to another reader. 

Every year I can count on certain titles to be included in that group, but often new books become "hot" based on the interests of the new group of kids. Last year's class found Kazu Kibuishi's Amulet series, one I was certain they would have read before seventh grade. Somehow they missed it and the kids devoured the books, not understanding how lucky they were to only have to wait until February for book nine. Another hit last year was the young adult romance, Better than the Movies. Kids loved it so much that one girl borrowed it from me for the summer so she could read it and pass it on to her friends before school started back up. I can't wait to hear what she thought.

As I sat in my room shelving my new books today I looked over the spines of old favorites as well as the new titles. The kids will be here in two weeks. The books and I cannot wait to meet them.

Surrounded by Possibilities

 

It's one of my favorite times of year, the lead up to the start of school. I posted on TikTok a video of the first day I went into my classroom this summer and while some viewers shared my excitement, others said they absolutely do not want to go back into the classroom when it's still their time. 

And I get that, I really do. Summers have a whole bunch of feelings wrapped up in them because some folks point to them and say teachers have it easy because they get paid to take the summer off. To say that is to ignore so much - some teachers work jobs in the summer to supplement a lower income, some teach summer school, some work at year round schools, and many of us have our pay checks spread over twelve months instead of ten, meaning we're not paid for this "time off." Whatever the case may be, I support teachers that don't want to go back a minute before they have to, that just isn't the case for me.

I love going in to my classroom to set it up slowly - an hour here or there when I feel like it. I love looking around the room and wondering what the upcoming school year will be like. I love wondering which class will be my chill one, which the funny class, etc. I wonder what books will be popular this year, what genres. The possibilities of what lies ahead is what gets me excited about going back. 

My room is essentially ready, but I'll collaborate with colleagues several times before August 14th. Year twenty-nine is coming up and I cannot wait.

A return to blogging and... Momoa

This summer I was talking to a friend about blogging. Both of us had blogged regularly back in the 2010s. Is that how you write that? At any rate, neither of us had blogged for years and as we discussed it, realized I missed it.

When I was blogging in 2018-2019, I struggled to figure out how to manage the time I had to write. I was still debating writing a book for teaching. I wrote articles on the regular for Choice Literary. I had begun to make tentative steps to writing a romance book. And I blogged. When I sat down with the small writing time I actually had, I never knew what "writing" I should actually work on. Whatever it was, I always felt like I'd picked incorrectly.

Flash forward three years since I last posted here. I've published seven romance books under the pen name Kat Ryan and am working on an eighth, and that is where the majority of my writing energy goes. I love writing something that has nothing to do with teaching. I love crafting a newsletter for my subscribers each month where I shine a light on things I loved that month. There's so much negativity in the world, my newsletter and my romance books are my way of trying to bring some bright spots to others.

So why jump back to blogging? Honestly, even though I missed it, I didn't think it was something that would fit into my writing life time-wise until I saw a social media post from my friend, Tony. He basically posts one social media post a week. There's a little text and three pictures: a pic of the week, a book of the week, and a song of the week. I love it. 

My commitment for anyone that wants to follow along on my foray back into writing blogs is this: One posts a week with a picture and some type of reflection. You can find today's picture above, the reflection below. 

**

Today I headed to my classroom to get it set up. Once the shell of my room is ready, I can take the next three to four weeks for me without the stress of telling myself I need to do "x." As I placed some tables where they needed to be, I looked up to see my cardboard cutout of Jason Momoa watching over the room.

When I published my first romance book back in 2021, my friend Cindy sent me this guy from Amazon. My hero, Max, was loosely based on Momoa. Cindy sent it to me for laughs and, once I messaged her my thanks, I wondered what to do with this giant cut out. 

After thinking for a minute, I decided to bring him into my classroom. Surely seventh graders would get a kick out of it. And boy was I right. Momoa has become a talking point for every class since. My favorite comment was two years ago from a girl that joined our class midyear. I was sitting by her desk one day, reassuring her that moving to a new school would, indeed, get easier. 

"D" looked at me, then moved her head to look at Momoa. With all the sarcasm a thirteen year old can muster, she said, "You ever going to tell me why that dude is in here just staring at us?" 

Ahh, bless. So Momoa is there, just waiting for our year to being. And I'm now at home, furiously working on book eight so I can focus on my seventh graders in just a few short weeks. 

It's good to be back.

The Blessings of Former Students

Friends, this last month has been a lot. Heck, this school year has been a lot. I mean, my students are amazing. I work with fabulous colleagues and administrators. My community is one of my favorite places. That being said, phew, this year.

Here’s the thing, when teachers say it’s a lot right now, it’s hard to pinpoint why it’s a lot. I mean, off the top of my head, this is what is running through my brain:

• The last normal year of school for my seventh graders was fourth grade.

• We’re teaching kids that didn’t have a typical start to middle school, so they’re lacking a lot of knowledge of being in a building like this.

• Mental health - for my students and their families - is a struggle.

• We’ve added new curriculums in my building. It’s important stuff and I wouldn’t want to get rid of it, but it’s more on our plate. 

• My oldest is in his first year of college.

• My youngest is a Junior.

• In Band

• In Cross Country, but with a broken big toe.

• I published one book last week and three more to be published in the next nine weeks. (I’ve been writing them all for over the past three years.)

• We’re in a pandemic. I feel like this might deserve its own blog post. But to be in a pandemic when you have an autoimmune disease that makes you far more susceptible to some pretty shitty outcomes from said pandemic while so many folks decry anyone who is still taking the pandemic seriously, or ever took it seriously, is hard.

• Like a never-ending-anxeity-spiral-of-piercing-loneliness feeling. Seriously. There are days I just want to move to my own island and call it good, wave the white flag, I get you don’t want me here, kind of days.

• While all of that is negative junk, I’m a pretty positive person. I believe a positive outlook and attitude is catching, just as a negative one is. So I’m working hard to be positive while it feels like I’m drowning in negativity everywhere I turn.

And I was doing so good with my positive outlook until I mistakenly (swear, it was an accident) read some reviews of my book the other day on Goodreads. I’d seen the Amazon reviews because I was looking for what keywords were being used. (Long story, marketing.) I went to Goodreads to see if they had something like that and noticed a review that said, “dnf.” For those of you for whom that doesn’t make sense, dnf means “did not finish.” 

Ouch. 

Arrow to the heart. 

And here’s the thing. I read about 400 books a year. That’s more than a few. I see reviews all the time for books that I love and people dnf those books. I think they’ve clearly read a different book than I did and move on. 

But when it’s your own book? Oh boy.

So, I dusted myself off, shed a tear because I haven’t developed enough of a thick skin yet, and moved on.

Wednesday I posted this on Facebook:

I wasn’t really expecting any comments about the review, it’s just where my brain was and I posted. Quickly, I got a message from a former student. She must be around twenty now, I taught her a decade ago. Her note said that she was reading my book and loved it, that it in fact had inspired her to pick up a long ago story she had and she was writing again.

My heart melted.

My book isn’t for kids, thus the pen name. My current students know I’m writing under a different name, but also know that they aren’t my target audience, which is why I haven’t shared my pen name or books with them. My former students that are out of high school have found their way to my writing accounts. Several have sent me messages cheering for me. Many are reading the book.

And that love, that’s a lot.

So on days like yesterday and today when the world feels like a bit too much, I’ll look to my students - current and former. They know me, the real me. They remind me of why I’m doing all of this. And they lift me up when I’m feeling down.

They give me the energy to try again another day and for that, I’m beyond grateful.

Wishing you all well on this year that has been a lot.